Sometimes we see someone from a distance, just close enough to know exactly who it is, and know that they don’t see you. We watch that someone laugh, we see them smile and know how happy they are. Sometimes something that simple can hurt so bad. Knowing that when they left you, you were haunted, and they were happy. Knowing that someone better has taken your place. What does that make you? No one. Nothing. Easily replaceable. How can it happen so fast, that you can go from irreplaceable to easily replaceable the minute he says, “I’m not in love anymore.” I’m not sure what he thought when I dated someone else. A rebound relationship. I fell apart with that someone else and the problem is they caught me. They caught me in their arms and I thought for once I was safe. But I was wrong. They left claiming that when they said “I love you,” it felt like lying. And now I have no trust. I have no confidence. I have no heart worth winning. I know I’m not beautiful, but when someone tells you everyday that they believe you are beautiful, their opinion becomes all that matters. I know I’m not funny, though I try to be, but they still laughed. I know I’m broken and scarred and twisted and hurt and depressed and paranoid...but I thought that for a split second there, you said I was worth it. The whispered “I love you,” the late night texts, pictures together, laughing fits. Am I just supposed to move on? For every guy I date will there be another ghost? Weaving through my nightmares, leaving me with no sleep? They say, “I don’t want to hurt you,” and “let’s still be friends.” My friends are people I trust; how am I supposed to trust someone who I put all of my faith in, and they broke my heart? I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I’m not happy enough. I’m sorry I’m broken, that I make mistakes, that sometimes I fall apart. I’m sorry I don’t always have my life together and that sometimes you suffered from that. That I send long texts, that I cry when the stars come out and my fears creep into my mind. I’m sorry I have strict parents. I’m sorry I make bad decisions. I’m sorry that all I wanted was to make you happy, because when the time comes that means letting you go. I am not who I want to be. You know my secrets. You might share the things I did wrong with the next girl. But I’ll never know why you fell out of love. I’m sorry, I really am, for being a waste of your time. I hope your happy. I hope the next girl is ten times more beautiful and a million times funnier. I hope she doesn’t have strict parents and she has her life together. I hope she loves you more than I ever could and makes you happier than you’ve ever felt. I hope to you, she’s perfect… because that’s what I never was.