What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth?







-?Grown-up Christmas List?




People take different amounts of time to grow up. Some grow up slowly. Some people don?t ever grow-up. At least not in mind they don?t. However some people have to grow up rather quickly. In foreign countries children work so they can help their families pay for food.

It wasn?t all that long ago when I was staring out a window in my house. I looked at a park across the street. There were some children playing on the jungle gym. I had played at that park while I was growing up. I had believed that I was a fairy princess. Then I started to read and I became a witch. Harry Potter was my favorite book. As I grew I began to realize that magic was only in books and movies. I had lost my sense of wonder. I seemed to base the world on logic and facts. I didn?t really believe in anything I couldn?t. I never kept my mind open. The children reminded me of how I used to be. They had looks of innocence on their faces. They gave me hope for the world. That we could have a better tomorrow.


This past year my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. There is no early test. You have a 24% chance of surviving a plane crash. You have a 4% chance of surviving pancreatic cancer. My dad is what they called the miracle man. He is one of the few people who survived this cancer.


They all expected him to die. I cried myself to sleep. My family was there for me but I didn?t want to burden them. My dad is now fine. I wanted to stay strong.

When I looked back at what I used to have I thought to my self wow? I missed being a little child and being free. It amazed me how much I had matured in the past year. I had changed for good. Nobody can tell if I changed for the better. I am changed now and that?s the way I will stay. I reminisced about how I was when I was little.

I was the nerd. A book worm so to speak. My reading kept my imagination going. It inspired me. Wow, I thought. It had inspired me to write stories. I might not believe in magic anymore but, I believe in love. Friends were always there for me and always will be. I remember how I heard someone saying your teen years are the best of your life. So why do we make so many mistakes?

Hold on, onto your innocence
Stand your ground when everybody?s giving in
-?This ones for the girls by Martina McBride?