The echo of brass rang in my ears; the steady beat of percussion pulsed through my veins, and the bright lights clouded my eyesight. The director's "magic wand" blended all of these harmonious sounds into one extraordinary piece of music. I didn't see anything but the lights; I didn't hear anything but the music, and I didn't feel anything but the tingling of my fingers on my instrument. This feeling, one I had never felt before, filled my soul.

From a soothing melody, the music quickly changed to a collage of dissonant sounds. The tenseness of my fingers traversed my wrists, my shoulders, the muscles in my legs, and the joints in my ankles. How could this much pain be this comforting? The dissonant, minor chords did give me pain. I ground my teeth to the point that my jaws throbbed and my ears ached. I put everything into fifteen inexplainable moments of solitude. Yes, solitude, even among hundreds of people. I found my inner self in the melodic lines of the flutes and in the peacefulness of the clarinet lines.

Total exhaustion soared over my soul at the last cut off, but it was worth it, well worth it. I had never felt this way before, and may never again. That was God's gift to me - music. l