I saw a perfect family; the Leave it to Beaver family with no flaws. Apparently my eyes fooled me.

They never really fought until the truth came out. The truth was that my mom had been unfaithful to my father. That day could have turned the world around for our family. I saw my dad pack up his clothes and drive off furiously like it was depicted in a movie. I saw my mom break down and cry, and when you are seven years old it scars you. The only good thing about dramatic movies like this one should have been is that it soon ends, but this one felt like the monotonous cycle didn’t end.

From that day on, I saw everything I probably shouldn’t have. My mom went through her umpteenth dates and “boyfriends” only to end in her heart broken and crying in bed. I guess you never know how events such as these affect you at seven years old. I saw a weak woman; not a weak mother for she was one of the best. But I saw a heart broken and love-stricken woman who simply needed to be with someone and no man was suitable enough for her so every night she ended up crying on her bed.

Then as I grew older I saw the other “Leave it to Beaver” families. I saw their picnics in the park, the vacations, the family portraits together, everything that a centrally strong family should be like. I began to envy all of the other families. Pink’s lyrics in her song “Family Portrait” nail my thinkings on the head:

In our family portrait we look pretty happy

Let’s play pretend and act like this comes naturally

I don’t wanna have to split the holidays

I don’t want 2 addresses

I don’t want a step brother anyway

And i don’t want my mom to have to change her last name.

I saw a scarred family; nothing that could be fixed. My only dream, only birthday wish, only prayer was to see that perfect family again, but as I grew older, I realized that it wasn’t a very attainable goal and I began to realize that the split was for the better.

Personally this whole process took a toll on me. In the beginning of the divorce, I was alone and naive to everything that was happening, but at the same time, I was the oldest of three girls and somehow I had to maintain a stronghold for my younger sisters. That was probably one of the hardest things that I ever had to do because I was just as naive as they were. But learning from my mother and watching her every move with relationships and what to do and not to do, I began to be filled with a plethora of relationship basis and she provided me with a basis for my morals with relationships today. I have gathered all of this just through seeing and observing the world and relationships around me. No longer do I look at a helpless girl in the mirror. Now all I see is a strong woman.