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To Pretend What it Was Like In His Skin
His hands were wrinkled like the old leather that lined my fathers boots. I had the urge to try them on sometimes, just to pretend what it was like in his skin. To feel my hands, that had the memories of so much pain, touch his hands that seemed to be carved from marble. They looked so fresh, like a newborn, they seemed to hide away from all light.
There was so much fascination with him. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t met someone so wonderful until now. How I knew his friends, and he knew mine, and we didn’t know each other existed on this small little planet until now. Maybe it was just his hands.
I seemed to quake with the urge to reach out and touch the pale slick satin in front of me. I could tell they wanted to cloak me in the strength I never have possessed. His hands were beautiful. I couldn’t resist.
“What are you doing?” he exclaimed, jumping from the surprise of my touch.
I looked up. The electric blue eyes found the dark milky brown ones.
Like the genius I am, I said a sound, instead of what I really met, which was, what I thought at the time was I want to touch you to find my better half.
“You’re like obsessed or something.” His girlfriend said. She looked exactly like me, except her skin was darker. I knew I had a better personality, everyone knew it.
I pushed up my glasses and looked as hard as I could at the girl who used to be my friend. She had changed when she met him. She changed for him. When we were five we promised to never change who we are. She broke that promise the day she said those words
“I think our friendship isn’t working out.”
The next day, I found her, sitting next to him at lunch. I knew I was nothing more than a few thousand notes, borrowed clothes, million pictures, ten summers, and fifty mix CDS that clogged her brain like permanate zits. I was way behind her- I was history.
“Sorry I-“ I started. But why finish?
“God, Harper, you’re beyond loser.” She said.
I was about to get up when I felt something so warm it was like the fluorescent lights in the cafeteria were turned off and fixed with natural sunlight. I was basking in it, I was glowing in it. I found my better half. I was home.