I try to forget them, but I still have memories of the days that led to me applying to the BCAMSC. It is one of those times in life that you would later wish that had never happened sometimes, but in the end was a smart choice. Well, this was one of those times. A period of my life that was not enjoyed, nor the best experience ever, but it taught me many things that I was happy to learn at a younger age. And that is why I feel that it is important that I share my experiences with others so that nobody is like me, and didn’t know what they were getting into . 

It was a normal day in Pennfield Middle School, a cloudy white sky, light frost on the ground, and your typical student behavior that would make you want to curl up into a ball and roll out the building. The beginning of the day was going as normal, nothing was different, not even the teacher's routine, which would always change even with the slightest change. So, not knowing that that day would be any different, I continued my day as normal. That was until about halfway through the morning, I was told to go to the cafeteria for testing, and that was when my nerves kicked in, but also some curiosity. My mind was moving a million miles a second wondering what was happening, I was looking around for signs of announcements or people to ask, but it was too frantic to get any information, so I just followed. I walked into the cafeteria, there were people everywhere, the tables were littered, not with your usual half eaten apples and crushed juice boxes, but with test dividers, calculators, and stacks of papers. Staff stood everywhere, watching our every move as we came and claimed our seats, no matter what we did they just stared at us or each other, it was kinda creepy, like they were all possessed or something.

They said start and the testing was on. They were having us take a math, science, and english test for the center. The tests were scary. I looked at the first page of the tests and had a wave of anxiety within seconds of reading the first questions. The pages were lined with confusing pictures and long words that looked like a different language. I could see lots of words and pictures on the dividers in front of us, lots of warnings and reminders that you would be happy again soon, it was kinda creepy.

The testing felt like an eternity, even though it was probably not even three hours, pages full of confusing pictures, long words, and letters and numbers mixing together. I understood this test as much as I understood rocket science, and I am pretty sure I shouldn’t know that in 8th grade. The cafeteria was silent, everyone staring down blankly at the sheets of paper, like they were trying their hardest not to look at the teachers staring down at them.

We finished the tests and left the cafeteria. I didn’t feel like I had just taken a test for another school. It felt like I was in some sort of a child experiment set up by the government or something. I left the building that day, wondering how long it would take for me to hear back from the school, to see if I had made the cut, or if I truly understood the tests as muh as I thought I did. 

It took two to three months but I finally received a letter. I grabbed the letter from my mother, it looked like any other letter I had seen before, white envelope, address, stamps, all the typical items that I usually thought would be on a letter. I tore the letter open and gripped the paper inside. It was hard to get out, like it was fighting me and wanted to keep me in suspense. I finally got it out and read the letter. I had made the cut and was accepted.

I sadly realized two years later that I had made a mistake in joining and left because of how I was reacting to the stress of college level work in my first two years of high school. But even though I didn’t enjoy it, I did learn one thing that I am still grateful for to this day, “you have to have the bad times in life to make the good times worth while”. I learned that lesson and am still using it to this day to keep me going, and I look forward to more good times in the coming days.