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I Go Back
“Maybe it’s true, that I can’t live without you. And maybe two, is better than one…”
Every time I hear that song, I go back. I go back to the first boy who thought he loved me, to the first slow dance with his hands on my hips and his whispers in my heart. I go back to driving to the movie theater, with him on my right side and my best friend on my left. I go back to smiles, to electricity, to my naïve thoughts that maybe a few months of perfection could last.
“…There’s so much time to figure out the rest of our lives…”
However, naïve thoughts can never last. And, in turn, things will always change. Slow and romantic dances turned into loud and painful fights, his whispers in my heart turned into screams that still haunt my ears. A hundred “I love you”s washed away with just one “I met someone else.” My best friend and I no longer drive to the movie theater with him; we have bonfires and burn what he gave me. Smiles turned to tears, electricity turned into shocks that hurt my very core. My naïve hopes and dreams of forever faded away. Nothing is unique about our situation, and yet everything is.
“…And you’ve already got me coming undone...”
Every time I hear that song, I go back. I go back to the first boy who called me beautiful, to the first boy who broke my heart. Even though our relationship ended with tears, regret, and distrust, I thank him for the memories. I’ve heard that a first love is never really over, never really forgotten. If that is true, I’ll be seeing you in my dreams tonight.
“…And maybe two, is better than one…”
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