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Trust
What if that one mistake lost you everything? It did for me. Back when I was in eighth grade I had a girlfriend like any eighth grader would. The problem was we were that couple everyone talked about that always last “forever”. Even I believed it, but then things got rough and I was scared I didn't want to dump her more for selfish reasons of my image than anything but I was scared. Then she left the country for vacation and I made the biggest mistake of my life. When she got back she was furious and with just cause and made sure everyone knew the story, at Least her half.
Adolf Hitler once said “The winner will never be asked if they are telling the truth”, and it’s what happened here. The story got out and the response was immediate the next day I woke to several calls, texts, and angry critics some even threatening my life. I could handle the hate I had never been extremely popular before my girlfriend and I were dating and I could take the backlash; after all I deserved it.
Moving from New Britain in third grade I had never been one of the cool kids, I was that awkward shy slightly mean kid. I had always had fights with people in my grade; I hated Jake and he hated me. We were that rivalry both tall athletic smart blondes, people confused us a lot and I hated it. He was that popular kid id never thought I could be, but he was also my rival in everything. He was smarter than me just as fast as me more skilled in soccer than me and everything I did was to beat him. It didn't help my image and my friends. But I was happy I had a group of five to ten close friends and I was happy. Then I made it to Middle school and it changed. My friends got girlfriends and so I made new friends. I started talking to people and getting close with more than just four or five guys. Eventually after a year or so one of those new friends would become my girlfriend.
When we started dating everything was great. We fought a lot but we'd always make up and at least for me I had become close with a lot of new people. This was new and weird for me I had never been the person to trust and have friends. But I loved it; I loved being able to talk to anyone and go out on a Friday with a group of people and not be thinking “how many of these people hate me right now?”. I was at a new height I was a leader, I was popular, everyone knew my name; and not because I broke jake's leg or went to hard in a soccer practice and hurt someone else. It was great and even more so in a world where everything is run off popularity and connections I was on top of the world.
But where else can you go from the top and the higher you are the harder the fall becomes. Trust is an odd thing in it can take years to form and seconds to disappear. Trust is one of the truly un-corruptible things. It can't be bought it can't be sold. Loyalty and faith and belief can all. Even religion can be forced upon someone but trust, it can only be gained by yourself and that one person and no outside parties can ever affect that.
I went to a friend of mine to talk it out and that’s when it hit me full force. My friend told me to leave in much more colorful language, Saying “They didn't associate with dirty ****ing lying cheater”. The pain was awful this was someone I had trusted with my life, and they just shut me out. The feeling can't be explained like breaking a bond on an atom breaking that trust and friendship can explode a person. My insides came out and I slipped into a mild depression. One friend, Liz barker a girl I had known my entire life pulled me out. She convinced me this will all blow over. I trusted her and believed her just like a free radical I was lost and hung to all chance of hope I could find like a stray dog following any food scent it can find.
So I removed myself socially I didn't go out I didn't talk to people I did nothing but become invisible to the world. About a week later I was making plans with my friends for the first time since and we set it all up, until someone said “wait where the girls are”. Naturally a bunch of fourteen year olds all we think about was girls, so we called them up and they were very blunt we will only go if Jordan does not. Being my friends of course I expected the guys to say no but to my surprise it went the opposite. My “friends” even ones that really only knew the girls because I was dating her left me. The all said they were busy that night or they had to do something. That something I found out that night was to go to my ex’s house and the movies. I was devastated I stopped talking to people I became a shut in. I didn't talk to anyone; my old friends were dead to me and to my real friends I seemed dead. I didn't return calls of anyone, not even those trying to help me like Liz.
I slipped into a deep depressions, I didn't miss my girlfriend as much as I missed being me. I had my identity stripped of me all in one day I had lost everything. I gave up trusting people I kept to myself and I hid literally and figuratively. Because being around people was worse. I didn't mind being with my girlfriend or her friends it was my old friends I couldn’t stand.
They became two faced and liars. My closest friends (of the ones I had met via my girl) was the worst. He would be there and act all calm and chill around me acting like we were still close. But put a girl close to my girlfriend in there and he became two faced a liar a snitch. Wed make a joke over anything something as futile as how short my girlfriend was and he’d laugh and laugh. Only to run off the first chance he had and tries to leak the info. It was desperate but all the attempts were. The girls and guys were trying to screw me over.
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