I’ll never forget the day I was told she was moving away. IT was the day we were both dreading. The last day of school. Everyone was excited that school was finally out – but me.

Sunshine and the piercing chatter of happiness drenching what should be the promise of a summer filled with best friends, weeks of sultry afternoons spent in the pool, and back yard barbecues ending only at dusk chasing fireflies. Nights spent whispering about the next days plans.

It was just another rainy day when the new girl showed up at the babysitters. As we all gather around her she backed away too shy to say hello. I marched right up to her and introduced myself, announcing that she could come play with me. She looked at me hesitantly, smiled and introduced herself as Abbie Brooks.

We ran off to play, and soon we were both fighting about the same toy or what game to play next. I got so angry that I grabbed Abbie by her hair and drug her around. Now you must take into consideration that Abbie was more than a foot taller than me. When Abbie was able to get away from me she stood up and grabbed me by the hair and drug me around. I was so stunned it took me a minute to realize that she too could play that game. SO instead of hitting her I smiled at her and said, I like you. That is the day my life was changed.

Suddenly I had a best friend I saw everyday at school and at our babysitters. Growing p together just right across the street from Abbie, soon we were doing everything together. From schoolwork to playing at her grandparents house. Our favorite thing to do was torment her little sister. As the days flew by our friendship grew stronger.

In the sweaty cluttered bus, Abbie and I found a place to sit. It was the same worn out blue seat we always sat in. Riding the bus back to Lake View was always grueling especially in the hot dry summer air. But that day it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that I was with my best friend. The bus was full of chatter about the summer plans people had, but in our seat Abbie and I sat stiff and silent. The silence was the only thing getting us through the bus ride.

Suddenly the unthinkable happened. The bus driver got a page to return to the school so Abbie could go with her mom. Our world abruptly spun out of control. It was only earlier that week I had found out Abbie was moving. It seemed as though it was just another bus ride home, except it wasn't. I was losing my best friend, the only person who truly understood how crazy I was but still chose to be friends with me.

As the bus arrived back at the school Abbie and I clutched each other close, not wanting to let go. With tears running down both of our faces, Abbie looked at me, smiled and said. “I love you Katey Jo, and I always will, no one can change that.” I just smiled hugged her one last time and watched her as she left. The rest of the bus ride home everyone asked me if I was okay and with tears falling on the empty seat next to me, I simply said no.

At home I was devastated and didn't feel like doing anything, even if it was my favorite thing to do. No one could get my mind off of Abbie. Looking out my bedroom window I looked across the street to Abbie’s empty house. My family were the only ones who were there for me through the summer and the next year.

My fifth grade year was one of the hardest times of my life. Without Abbie everything was different. I never imagined that I would be left out by my “so called friends.” Without my best friend by my side I didn't know what to do, we always did everything together.

When I got made fun of for apparently being a lesbian I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I was a small shy girl who never got attention, so t last thing I thought was going to happen was that I would be made fun of for being a lesbian of all things. School was supposed to be a safe place, a place where everyone came together and worked together. Wasn't it? I thought so but I was wrong, people didn't help me. They put me down and stomped all over me. I didn't even get a change to get up I just kept getting trampled on. Even the people that said they were friends stood by and watched while I felt like I was nothing and didn't feel like my life was worth living.

Walking down those halls I could feel the stares and hear the whispering. People snickering when I walked by. To this day I can still hear the word scissors coming out of their mouths. The slang word the kids liked to use for lesbian. At first I didn't understand what people we re calling me, I was naive to the cruelty of people. So when I found out what that word meant I was crushed that anyone would ever think that. It was that I realized I’m better off alone, better off doing things on my own. I realized that these people weren't worth my tears, the words weren't worthy my tears.

My family are the people who helped me realize that. This all woul change the day I stood up for myself. Shy little me was ready to stand up and say this is enough. From that day forward I was never called a lesbian again. I stoppe caring what people thought of me because I became obsessed with music and because of the welcoming arms of my family and my home. I listened to music all the time, sang wheneve I could and I was always volunteering to go places and sing, my choir teacher was one person I could confide in at least. Theo only thing that kept me from fallin off the edge was the music and my family.

My family is what matters most to me in this world full of people willing to stomp on you to get to the top. They are my solid ground whenever I feel like I am falling. Whenever I go through something I know they will always be there for me to give me advice, and to help me through the hardest of times. Although my family often bicker nad fight we always come together and always love each other. If we don’t always get along it’s okay because we know that love is thicker than any other thing. I wouldn’t know what to dow without my family, they are the people I look up to most in my life. Through all the whispering and the name calling I was always able to come home and feel safe.

Losing my best friend was the worst thing to go through, but at least I got to see her every summer. So everything would bef our ninth grade okay. Right? Wrong, the summer of our ninth grade year Abbie’s mom told her she could no longer come to visit. She could no longer have contact with her grandparents or me. Suddenly I could feel losing my best friend all over again. What I thought would be the perfect year had turned out to be the worst. Abbie and I both thought we would finally be reunited and be able to go to school together again.

I started my ninth grade year with the hope of finally being reunited with my best friend of ten years. The school smelled like cleaner because it had been vacant for most of the summer. No sweaty smelly kids to fill the school. Ninth grade year was sure to be the best. Until I found out it wasn’t going to be.
The last day I saw Abbie I felt like the world was crashing down once again. When we saw each other it was okay, it was just another day after school to me. But for Abbie it was a long grueling ay of fighting in a court room. As Abbie was helping me with my homework I thought about how nice it would be to be able to do homework with her everyday. But then I was snapped back into reality when her grandma took out her camera and said “let’s get one more picture of you two before Katey has to leave.” As I finished up my homework I came to the realization I would have to say goodbye to her all over again, and I didn’t want to. I could have spent hours with her and her grandparents, it felt like my second home a place that was safe with people that loved me, but I was only able to spend a few hours with them. Goofing around always. As the time ticked closer for me to leave we sat down and talked. It was a very hard talk to have but we needed to have it. We told each other that we would see each other again when she turned eighteen. As we hugged, tears blurring our vision we had to say goodbye once again.

I have had little contact with Abbie since she went back home and I find myself lost at times. She was the one person who always understood what I was going through and always helped me, but at least I had my family. Abbie is still my best friend, and she always will be, even though we don’t talk very often.

My family is what helped me get through losing Abbie again. I was able to come home and have a shoulder to lean on and feel safe. My family is what has made my experience here so great. They ar my biggest fans in life even when life doesn’t go quite right. SO even though it’s hard without Abbie here I have my family. I’ve heard from many people that big cities are the best place. Where there is so much more to do and so much more to see. Sometimes that does seem nice, I wouldn’t have to wonder how Abbie is doing. I wouldn’t have to wonder if she is okay. But best friends never give up on each other. Right? It would be nice to escape sometimes. But in small town Iowa where family is valued most, I had home.