Have you ever felt like you were alone when you need someone the most. I have. I felt like I had no one. It was like I had a veil over my eyes. Blocking out everyone who was there for me. It wasn't until she removed the veil, that I realized that someone was actually there for me. And that I wasn't fighting this battle alone.

JoJo (Jocelyn). I choose her because she has been there for me when I needed someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a best friend, someone to tell me when I was wrong...but, who also stood by my side when I was in the wrong, but…standing up for what I thought was right. When I couldn’t take much more of the pain (mentally), she was there helping me with it, helping me overcome the troubles that I was having. She would tell people to leave me alone when I was too upset to say anything or too angry to even move. She was my confidante when I had a secret. And I gave her all these things in return.

It took me a while to actually realize that she was there for me practically all year. I finally realized that she was the one who was-theoretically-carrying me all this time when one day while we were at lunch she asked “Sassy are you ok? What’s wrong?” Not realizing who I was talking to I started yelling at her “What does it matter to you or anyone anyway? It seems like to me that ya’ll are just making stuff worse instead of better!!.” With tear soaked, puffy, red, pained eyes I looked up. It had gotten quite at our table which was odd. So I looked up and saw that JoJo was sitting there in front of me with a look that I will never forget. It was like I took a knife, placed it in fire, and the stabbed her. It is a look that is burned into my mind. The pain I saw in her eyes was enough to break me. I shut down completely. I was so mad at myself for saying that and for making her upset. Cause she wasn’t the one making life at school and out of school terrible. She was the one who was helping me glue the pieces of myself back together. Helping me better understand myself and who I was becoming or there-lack-of becoming a person. I was like a shell of my former self. And for about a week she wouldn’t talk to me and wouldn’t get near me. It was in that time frame that I realized how much I wanted/needed my best friend back. I was falling to pieces and I missed her. It was like she was lighting up the world around me when she was near. She was always asking ”Are you ok? What’s wrong? You can talk to me you know that.” or “If there is anything at all that I can do to help let me know. I’ll do it. I’m here for you.” And I missed it, I was tired of the looks I was getting. I was losing it physically and mentally. I started going off on people for staring, pointing or talking about me behind my back.

I was at the lunch table when... JoJo, Chy, Chy M., and Katie walked up, with eyes so wide they could pop out of their sockets at any moment. Jaws hung open as if they had been broken away from the rest of their mouth. All of them had this look, all but one……JoJo. She didn’t make any effort to look my way or to even say “Hi’. She just took her usual seat across the small rectangular table from where I was now sitting. The rest of them were a little hesitant as they sat down. Taking their eyes off me only once to sit down and then go back to the same expression.

JoJo never once looked at me. I was going through the mess of things in my head to say what I wanted to say to her. “Look I’m sorry I was so mean. I hate the way I treated you. I hate myself even more right now. I lost the best person in my life. YOU! You were always there for me and I was to blind and stubborn to realize that till it was too late. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, how much I wish I could take it back. But I can’t. I understand completely…” I was choking back the waterfall of tears that I knew was about to come. Chy asked in a confused voice “Why are you crying?” I couldn’t answer her cause at the same time JoJo finally looked up at me. The expression she was wearing at that moment is one I will never understand. I had lost my train-of-thought. And was not able to remember what I was going to say. As soon as JoJo and I were the only ones left at the table she looked up at me with the same expression upon her face. Before I could say anything, she said “Well, do you see now who was there for you all this time? Do you finally see why we were such good friends? It’s like we help hold each other together just to get through the day. High school isn’t gonna get any better if you keep this up. You’ll end up with no one to help you, no one to be there for you when you need them most. Be aware of who your true friends are. Cause with the others, did it feel like you were alone?” All I could manage to do without crying was to nod ‘yes’. That is because you might as well have been! They don't understand you and what you are going through like I do!! I know how to help you cope and get through this. They don’t. Trust me. I’ve heard them talk about it. They have no clue what it’s like through the crap you and I have been through. We help each other! We are like sisters. At least we were. Unless you pull yourself together enough to accept that. Then this will be the last Dang time you will hear from me!” I couldn’t help but ball at that point. I got up and went to sit down beside her. We talked all of lunch. Not caring who was watching or what they were saying. We were sisters. And till this day that hasn’t changed and hopefully won’t.

At times I feel like we are inseparable, but other times we just need our space like anyone else would. We are the best of friends. Spending nights at each other’s houses, staying up late just talking or laughing at the stupid stuff we did that day, and trying to keep our voices low only making us laugh more. Almost every Tuesday and Thursday, we go down to the creek almost as if we were all a big family (Her family and mine). I feel like I have another sister. But she is one that I can tell my secrets to and share my problems with...without having to worry about her going to tell someone about it. And anything that she tells me I put it in a vault inside my head, locked away for good, never to be shared.

This girl is my favorite person to be around no matter what mood I’m in. We always light up each other’s day. We will be there for each other till the end of time. And we are trying to prepare ourselves for next year. We know -good and well- that this coming year is going to be rough. And we have talked about this past year and what to expect. So threw thick and thin, we will always be there. No matter what. I owe that girl my life….my everything. Cause without her, I would’ve lost it a long time ago. And I’m glad I have someone like her to help me thru high school and life.

Because of all this, I have found out that life is like several roller coasters. It has it’s ups and downs, loops, and turns. I have been on the wrong roller coaster for a while. I was taking the easy road. Just trying to get by things. Not actually trying at anything.

JoJo helped me realize, a little too late, that my grades were unacceptable to pass on to the next grade. So with that on my mind and on the top of my new priority list, I talked to JoJo and we spent nights at her house studying and getting extra credit work completed in an effort to get my grades up to passing. We did it with only a few days to spare. It seems like we picked up our life’s coaster and put it on the right track. She even went with me to sign up for these online classes for the summer.

It’s funny how the most unlikeliest of people become your best friends. It’s like all your fears and worries just leave for the time that ya’ll are together. Such a weird little thing it is…. Friendship I mean. It’s like they become a part of you cause they know more about you than anyone even you know of yourself. And vise versa. It still amazes me every time I stop and think about it.

To Work Hard….Play Harder. Meaning that when you have done the work, you are keeping it up and not falling behind, then and only then can you actually have the fun you want. It’s sorta my life’s new Motto. Cause I know when I do the work, I get to party, play, have fun, or whatever you want to call it. You can do the same. You just gotta Work Hard… Play Harder!

When you find that one person (and I don’t mean like someone you would date or anything) who you feel is like the other half of your crazy, funny, stupid acting, klutzy self... keep them close to your heart but not to close because they need their space too you know. You never no how much they mean to you till they're gone and you realize that they might not be coming back. I was lucky that JoJo was just trying to prove something to me. And I’m forever grateful to her for showing me the way and being there for me when it seemed like no one else was. Without her I don’t know where I would be right now. These are just a handful of reasons why JoJo is one of the most important people in my life. Cause without her I would be a completely different person. She inspired me to get off the path that I was going down, turn my life around, make amends to people that have been hurt along the way, talk to some of my old friends, and to take the high road of life.