It's Me Now | Teen Ink

It's Me Now

August 26, 2014
By Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

I didn’t know how to play any instruments at all. But I fell in love with music.

I remember practically begging my parents to let me play the piano, to let me learn. Finally, they enrolled me in a music program. I had never played before, so I had to push through the difficulties of music theory and complicated notes. But before long, I found that my fingers seemed to belong to sleek, ivory keys exclusive to the piano. Yes, I struggled, but I wanted to play more than anything. In this case, piano taught me one of the most important lessons to be learned in life: if I set my mind to something, maintain determination and imagination, remain open-minded, and keep faith, I can achieve anything.

I was raised believing that creativity and imagination were the key to everything. Books upon books stacked atop my shelf over the years as my parents exposed me to more literature. Even when I was small, no more than six years old, my dad would read me poetry and novels, including some of his own works. From Robert Frost, to C.S Lewis, from Tolkein, to Poe. It didn’t matter. I loved it all.

But the more I read, the more I delved into myself. I found that the worlds of Narnia, Hobbits and witchcraft were far more appealing than reality. So I increasingly became more quiet and shy. I buried within myself. Many people mistook my silence. They thought I believed I was “too good for them,” too self-confident and self-assured to partake in their affairs. Of course, it wasn’t like that at all. I wanted desperately to say, “It’s not you, it’s me!”

But I couldn’t. I still have trouble interacting socially today, but one thing I’m striving for most right now is stepping out of my comfort zone. And so far, I’ve made numerous amazing friends along the way.

My family is essentially made up of a patchwork of various heritages; I’m Polish, Spanish, Turkish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Scottish, Israeli, and more. My father is also Orthodox Christian, while my mother is Jewish. It’s actually a great experience, to go to church and temple in the same day, and to celebrate completely different holidays within the same month.

I’ve realized that these unusual sides of my life have granted me the ability of open-mindedness; I’ve practiced many culturally different traditions over the years, which has let me easily accept other people different from me. Because of this, I find new things extremely interesting, and I’m always willing to try out fresh first-hand experiences.

Additionally, my mom has been a social worker for disabled adults ever since I was born. I would constantly accompany her to work while growing up; she’d take me to group homes, rehabitation centers, and her clients’ homes to help out. Several of the disabled she works with have brain issues, such as cerebal palsy and down-sydrome, or they have physical complications, like paralyzation.

I think talking to those people and interacting with them has opened several doors for me; it’s made me realize that you shouldn’t judge someone before you get to know them. I’ve met several other children with disabilities, and it’s only increased my understanding for them as well as the world we live in.

Because of several events throughout my life, I’ve realized I don’t need to blame myself. As long as I remain open, I don’t need to apologize and say, “It’s not you, it’s me” anymore. After all, life is practically just one big grand piano, simply waiting to be played.

The past is far away.

And this is me now.

Similar Articles


This article has 1 comment.

on Aug. 31 2014 at 6:53 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

This just hit me hard. I could connect to it, so much. This is absolutely wonderful, so well-written! It has so much depth, raw emotion, and you. It's just perfect. I love it. Thank you for sharing this, my friend! ^_^