A tear slipped off my smiling face. Our loud and uncontained laughs joined in unison, and created a warm, gorgeous feeling. The room around me was shouting with pure joy, and the bright blue walls of my bedroom gleamed almost luminescently. The hours passed me by, but I didn’t mind. There was nothing I enjoyed more than spending time with her. I held back nothing from her. She would listen, I would listen, and we would both admit things that we have never told anyone before. BFF’s: Best friends forever. Or at least that’s what she promised.
I woke up from my nap. The memories of what were faded and reality quickly slapped me in the face. Was it a dream or was it a nightmare? I couldn’t tell anymore. I laid in my bed, just thinking. 7:03. The daylight slowly fed into the creeping darkness, and the night was soon upon me. 10:46. Isn’t a best friendship supposed to last forever? 10:47. A best friend is supposed to be there with you in thick and thin, no matter the situation. 10:48. What did I do wrong? She isn’t talking to me and hadn’t in 2 weeks. The minutes felt like they were taking hours to pass. They slowly ticked away until it was a Monday morning. My bloodshot eyes were still wide open, and I had probably memorized every crook and cranny of the dying blue ceiling. The walls that once sung in contentment now cried in pain, and the bright color faded away into a dim grey.  Beep, beep, beep, my alarm sung, sounding more depressed than usual. I sluggishly trudged to the bathroom. As I turned the light on, I immediately made eye contact with a mirror. I looked at the figure in the mirror, it had red eyes that were surrounded by white crust and it’s hair was heavy with grease. I could already tell it was going to be a horrible day. I decided to go with my gut.
“Mom, I’m sick,” I lied, hoping I could pull off the fib. I had never tried this before so I was hoping she would let it slip.
“Okay, you can sleep for a little, but I want you to still go to the second half of the day,” My mom wasn’t one to fool with. I think she knew what was going on. Soon, I was back in my dull room. Alone once again. I crawled into my bed and under the covers, as if that would shield me from the world around me. I tried to close my eyes, but every time I did, I began to think. I remembered the time she and I had a quadruple sleepover. I remember that I took her on vacation to Florida with me. I remember that we even had a sleepover on a school night, on halloween, last year. For once, the problem was remembering. Why couldn’t I just forget? We had told each other everything, every thought and every little moment of our lives. She knows everything. That was the scariest part. I would never tell anyone that much ever again. I tried to escape reality by going on my phone, only to find the 15 unanswered texts of “Hey!”. I slowly reached my hand up to my neck, finding the half heart necklace. “Best,” it read. She had gotten the friends half.
“Always and forever,” I recited quietly to myself. The necklace was still there... So where was she? The hours eluded me and soon I was headed to school.
“So, how’d you get sick?” My mom definitely knew I had lied.
“I think I just picked it up at school or something,” I lied again. That was the end of our car talk. I walked in at 5th hour, and all eyes were on me. I was instantly overpowered with questions. It was the kind that people didn’t really want a straight answer for, because if you told them the truth they really wouldn’t know what to say.
“Are you okay?” One of my friends asked.
“Yeah, I am fine. Just feeling a little sick this morning,” I lied again and lied again. The lies easily flooded out of me, and I didn’t want to show any weakness. She could find out if I did.
The day went by, and the only thing I remember is seeing her in the hallway. Our eyes caught for a second, and I almost smiled and waved anxiously like I usually did. But then I remembered, and we both turned and looked away. She began to laugh with her new best friend (L), and it was a completely fake laugh. Was I the only one who could see right through her? Her haunting laugh echoed through my ears for the rest of the day. How could she so easily forget about the countless nights we spent confessing our thoughts and memories? How could she so easily act like she didn’t care? How could she so easily pretend that she didn’t know me? How could she?
It was a rough next couple of days. It seemed as if nothing went right. Her instagram posts were always about her new best friend, L. Her snapchat story always included her new clique and that haunting laugh. She was making all the wrong choices, and she knew it too. The sad part is I wouldn’t be surprised if some drinking or drugs were involved. I knew I had to address the problem. Taking deep breathes, I pressed the green CALL button.
“Hey, do you think you can you do something tonight?” I asked, fingers crossed. I wanted to talk to her in person, no matter how scared I was.
“Sorry, I have a lot of homework I have to do,” She lied through her teeth. I felt like I didn’t even know her anymore. I could hear L laughing in the background. Strike 1, lying. I hung up and violently ripped the silver chain from my neck. Hers was probably long gone by now. I frantically chucked it at the ground, hoping that this would help me somehow. Hoping that it would make me not feel and not remember.
I began to text her, I needed to talk to her. I had a long message, probably 3 typed pages, and I read it through multiple times just in case. It wasn’t dramatic, it was truthful. It hurt to even type about it. I carefully clicked the send button.
1 second...A nervous feeling wrapped around me, embracing whatever hope I still had left.
2 seconds... What had I just done? What if she hates me forever now?
3 seconds... Why can’t I just move on?
Message delivered. It was done. I didn’t leave my phone alone for the next couple of hours. She had updated her snapchat story multiple times. I was sure that her and L were off laughing about my feelings and about the text I had sent her. Strike 2, ignoring.
The next day was actually going pretty well, until lunch. She no longer sat next to me. Today though, I had a clear view of her and L. I could see her whispering and looking at me. I tried not to jump to conclusions, but as any teenager would, I guessed she was gossiping about me. I passed on throughout the day, and I had almost forgotten.
“Is it true?” One of my old friends asked. She had been sitting with her and L today. I just gave her a confused look, even though I knew exactly about what she was talking about. I had specifically told her not to tell anyone that secret. Breaking a promise and strike 3, you're out.
Ever since then, I have been avoiding all her drama and really letting go. Best friends forever is a lie. Even though it is hard to move on, people who are worth your love, time, and thought will realize the effort you put in and reciprocate it. Your life is never intertwined with anyone else’s. Someone once said, “When someone walks out of your life, let them. They are just making room for someone better to walk in.” This was a hard concept to learn for me, but it is definitely true. I have many new and great friends in my life now that I probably wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t moved on and I couldn’t be happier.