"Come on! I want to spin it," exclaimed Rose, racing to the line of four people. The green tent was set up right outside the textbook room, in the open space next to the quad.
"What is it about?"
"I don't know. Who cares? The spinner looks cool. I want to try it out," she answered me, exasperated.
"It's about this trampoline park that just opened up. Rockin' jump or something. They're trying to advertise," Marissa chimed in, bored.
Taking my time, I walked towards the line of teenagers that seemed to get shorter by the minute and stood next to Rose. She glanced at me once, then continued her staring contest with the wheel. I could not see anything interesting in it. It was a wooden, old fashioned spinner, just a little bigger than my palm, with an arrow like a clock's. The six sections were neatly divided with thin strips of wood, allowing the arrow to stop in one section when the wheel runs out of energy. I didn't bother to understand the categories on it.
The girl in front of Rose spun the wheel and they handed her some papers and such. I couldn't really tell. Her back was towards me. Rose walked towards the man at the booth and said hello. She was told to spin it and then got the same materials. She whispered to me to try it and stood with Marissa waiting for me.
"Would you like to spin it? Go for it," the man stared at me, expectantly. I couldn't refuse. He picked up a few cards and flyers and handed them to me. I turned to leave.
"Wait. Take this too," he said as he handed me a green rubber bracelet with the words 'Rockin Jump' on it. "Thank you," I said to him, politely, taking the green rubber bracelet he offered. I hated fat rubber bracelets like those. They didn't feel right on my arm. The silver circle in the middle, like a wristwatch clock in the center, glistened too brightly in the sun.
I turned around and began to make my way to my friends, who were sitting on a bench just a few feet away. "Heyyy!" I screamed, shocked, when a hand grabbed the bracelet out of my hands. He waved the bracelet in front of my eyes.
"Come and get it if you can!" he teased, with that mischievous look I loved. I decided to play along.
"Ha! Try me." I chased him, trying to reach his hand which he held right above me, where my hands failed to reach. "This is soo unfair! You can't hold it up like that. You're too tall!!"
"Sure can," he grinned.
I suddenly felt the silence around me. The chatter of friends was gone. I hadn't noticed where we were going. I looked around, noticing the parking lot at the back of the school right in front of me. None of the owners of the cars seemed to be present, nor was anyone strolling by. It was just me and him, standing on the empty, cement pathway in front of the staff parking lot. I could see the empty baseball field clearly.
I looked up at him, realizing he was right there towering over me. Yes, I had to crane my neck upward to see his face, always, but his smile made it so worth it. He pulled the bracelet over his fingers, a little past his wrist, onto his arm. I'm not sure if my confusion showed through. His cheeks turned a little red as his smile grew wider. I thought his smile would tear through his cheeks. Sneaking his hands into the front pocket of his dull grey pants, he pulled out a bracelet that looked exactly the same. He had gotten one as well.
He grabbed my wrist, quickly but gently, as if I were a fragile doll, and slid the bracelet on my hand, lacing his fingers with mine in the process.
"I love you, forever. I know you don't believe in love, but trust me it's real." That bracelet did not look hideous to me any longer. It looked promising.
"Let's try our best. For our mansion," he stated, as he pulled me into a tender, warm hug.
"Gee. There you go again with those filmy dialogues," I managed to say, flushed. He wanted to build a mansion with me when we grew older, something that made him work hard and get good grades. He wanted to get engaged to me, put a ring on my finger. I could feel my cheeks burning up, knowing he would tease me. He loved the red on my cheeks.

*  *  *

He wore it every day.

*  *  *

I treasured that bracelet, though he doesn't seem to remember any longer. He seems to have forgotten everything we ever had, everything he ever said. I wonder if he still wears it. I doubt it.

***

"Let's do it"
"Do what?"
"You know...let's have sex. I really want to okay? with you. Its just that..that thing happened to me, you know, the man thing, it just-it won't stop till I do it. err-"
"I-I...", I stared at him speechless remembering the time, four months ago, when we were at the back of the school and he kissed me all over my face, taking me by surprise, touching his lips on me cheek, forehead, nose, everywhere but my lips, and then apologized. The guy who apologized to me for kissing my face is asking me to have sex with him. It did not make any sense.
"Come on, everyone does it. I'll hold it in, okay? You won't get pregnant. I can hold it." This conversation was really making me uncomfortable. I loved him, yes I did, but I was not ready to place my future in the hands of a boy I had dated for just six months so far. "You're moving away. We should do it before you go." Did he want to have sex with me before he dumped me when I left? Was that it? Was that all he ever wanted? No, something must have changed. He wasn't like this before.
"I can't, I'm sorry. I'm just fifteen. No."
"Come on. Everyone does it."
"I'm not everyone."
"Why not!?"
"DUDE. I am NOT losing my virginity at fifteen.."
I couldn't decide whether or not I should move off his lap. I'll just stay. No need to make things any more awkward.

*  *  *

I opened my snapchat as I received a notification saying I got a message from him.
4:00pm AceB92: Hey
4:05pm Annnyy37: Hey:)
4:05pm AceB92: How r u?
4:06pm Annnyy37: Good u?
4:08pm AceB92: idk
4:09pm AceB92: we shld try something new u know?
4:10pm Annnyy37: Like what?
4:12pm AceB92: Idk. U suggest something.
4:12pm Annnyy37: Idk.
4:13pm AceB92: come on
4:13pm Annnyy37: I would google but i dont think i know wht ur looking for lol.
Just tell me.
4:14pm AceB92: nah nvm
4:15pm Annnyy37: what is it??
4:17pm AceB92: um. idk lets try like idk u know how u wanted someone to
make breakfast fr u shirtless in the mrng?
4:18pm Annnyy37: lol i was jst teasing u
4:18pm AceB92: well. how abt we try shirtless u know? like on the
beach..like...um..
4:18 AceB92: how abt...pants..
4:20pm Annnyy37: wht...?
4:20pm Annnyy37: No. I am not taking my pants off.
4:21pm AceB92: Its boring we dont do anything new anymore
4:23pm Annnyy37: ...
4:23pm AceB92: nvm
4:24pm Annnyy37: okay
4:24pm AceB92: c ya l8er. gtg.
4:24pm Annnyy37: sure. bye.

"Ughhhh!" I looked at the clock. It was three AM already. I went to bed at eleven and all I did was stare at the ceiling, thinking about him. What was wrong with me?!What was wrong with him? I bet it was his friends filling him with this crap. Oh well. At least he wasn't forcing me. He'd get over it.

***

I picked up my bag and put in some snacks for later, along with a water bottle.
"Let's go, Mom."
"Yeah hold on..here return these books in the library," she said, hurriedly,  handing me the books then slipping on her sandals. I took the books from her and walked to the car with her right behind me. She dropped me off at the library.
"Good luck. Study hard. Call me if you have any problems. I'll pick you up at six. "
"Okay, Mom."
I rushed inside, pausing to gently push the books into the returns box, then finding a spot to study. More importantly, to text him that I was here. I would study too, of course, but I would usually spend half the time with him, the last hours before I left.
I walked up the stairs and down the aisles, looking past the shelves full of books at the individual study tables next to the windows. The quiet areas. Soon I found a seat, the one at the very end, near the window. It had a divider in the middle, to make space for two people, yet still allowing privacy for each. No one was sitting across the space I chose, thankfully. I prefered not sitting next to grown up strangers. They always gave us teens the look, as if we were going to do something wrong.
I started opening my bag, taking out my ipad to text him, oblivious to my surroundings.
"Oh god!!" I jumped up as I felt arms around me. "You scared me! I told you not to sneak up on me like that!"
"Gee. I was like right behind you, you know."
"Yeah right."
He laughed that beautiful, melodious laugh and everything was okay. It was all okay. I noticed he still had the green rubber bracelet on his arm.
"So, wanna go outside? It's nice and sunny."
"Uh..sure. Why not?" I replied.
I placed my ipad back inside my backpack, conscious of his eyes observing my every motion. He hugged me and gently touched his lips on my cheek as I laced my fingers through his. We walked down the stairs, to the right, past the check-out desks, and out the sliding door, the main entrance of the library. He guided me to our regular spot, a right turn from the main door, then left, bordering the outside edge of the library. A garden surrounded the library, and we had our spot in a corner against the walls of the library, facing the scenic mountains and gardens.
He sat down and I sat in his lap. Yes, I loved sitting in his lap. It made me feel secure, comfortable, and close to him, as if I could see through him. We had some casual conversation, which I liked, since it meant maybe he was getting over the whole sex thing. He asked me about my day and we ended up talking about the fact that I was moving. He said, "I love you," and pressed his lips against mine. As usual, I pulled away after a minute or so, but this time he refused to let go. He pulled me in and continued to gently kiss me. I went along with the kiss, giving it my all.
He wasn't a very good kisser, yet I always loved kissing him, I loved him, I loved everything about him. His hands found a way under my shirt, massaging my bare back, as I placed my hands under his shirt. I pulled back, resisting. "Just the shirt, okay? Beach style," he assured. Slowly, he pulled my shirt above, and I let him. He threw his shirt off too and he just looked at me. He pulled back and said,"God, You're hot." And that was new to me.
He placed his lips back on mine, pushing me tightly against him. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him as close to me as I could. It seemed like ages had passed when he pulled away.
"Let's go all the way. We went half-way anyway," he said,  placing his finger on the edge of my pants. I immediately grabbed my shirt and put it on.
"No. I said No. Okay?"
"Ughh."
"Wha-at?"
"NOTHING."
"Fine."
"Gee, common-"
"No."
"Okay, I get it, no problem. I'm sorry. I won't ask again. It's just that guy thing, it's just, whenever I'm with you, it happens and I wanted it to stop."
"Go do it with someone else, geez," I said jokingly.
"No way! I'm fine, I'll handle it."
"Okay."
He looked at his phone, checking the time.
"I've got to go. It's time for GYM."
"Yeah. Okay. I've got studying to do, too. Have fun!" I said getting up, putting my bag on my shoulders. I turned towards the left, and started walking back to the library entrance.
"Hey wait!" I stopped and turned around. He pulled me towards him in a hug, which got tighter by the second.
"Er....I-c-an't b-b-bre-a-brea-breath" He let go, laughing.
"That. That was a bear hug." He said as he ran off, grinning, in the opposite direction, on his way to the gym.

*  *  *

"Finally done!" I said to myself, admiring my well organized closet, which I had just spent an hour on. One task off my list for Saturday. Gosh, this house was big, I thought, for the millionth time since we had arrived here. It had been a month already since I moved to Santa Cruz from Fremont. School was lonely. I roamed past groups of friends and such, tried to make friends and got ditched a bunch of times without much of a reason. I had started to love weekends more than school. I missed my friends. I missed him. I picked up my ipad and sent him a message.

5:00pm Annnyy37: Hey, what's up?
5:15pm AceB92: Nothing. Tired.
5:16pm Annnyy37: I hope u feel better:)
5:17pm AceB92: Its really lonely since you're gone. I don't have anyone to talk to and
stuff.
5:18pm Annnyy37: I'm rite here for u. Just text me whenever
5:19pm AceB92: I just...
5:20pm AceB92: Can I like go on a lunch date with someone..?
5:21pm Annnyy37: Wht? U can hang out with ur frnds whenever.
5:21pm Annnyy37: I don't own u
5:22pm AceB92: No I mean like with u know someone
5:23pm Annnyy37: U want to go on a lunch date with a girl? as in a date date?
5:23pm AceB92: Its really alone okay? I need someone to talk to..
5:24pm Annnyy37: I am right here for whtever you want to talk about
5:27pm AceB92: uh..so thats a no?
5:28pm Annnyy37: I don't decide what u want to do and who u want to date
5:28pm Annnyy37: But
5:29pm Annnyy37: Break up with me first
5:29pm Annnyy37: if u want to date someone other than me
5:30pm AceB92: NO. never
5:30pm AceB92: Ily ok? i'll nvr leave u.
5:31pm AceB92: 4get it. dont worry abt it.
5:33pm Annnyy37: Okay take care i gtg
5:34pm AceB92: ttyl
5:35pm Annnyy37: ttyl bye

It was fine. He was just being stupid. I was his first girlfriend. I don't know. Was I being too easy on him? He wouldn't just throw it away, right? He won't. He wouldn't.

*  *  *

About a week later he did it again. He asked me again. And when I got mad, told him to break up first, he said he was just joking. Joking, he said. Not very funny.

*  *  *

No. Not again. It has been three weeks since he asked me the second time. I can't believe he just made a bet with me as to who can get a date first. Is he even my boyfriend? It sure doesn't feel like it anymore. What happened to the guy who got jealous because I hung out with my dad's friend's son and sat on the same sofa with him? He wants me to get a date just so he could get one? Like he ever will. He isn't good looking. In fact, everyone labeled him as one of ugliest guys in the school. Besides, people say he has this ego, which he does except when he's with me, or atleast in the old days, but anyway the point is no one likes him. No way he's getting a date. But I've had enough.

I stayed up till late again. I slept after about 2-3am. I'm not sure when. I wasn't looking at the clock after 2am. I don't know when I fell asleep but when I got up in the morning for school, I decided to end this.

6:35am Annnyy37: Hey, so you know how u told me to get a date or whtever. So I did.
And I went on a date with him. And I liked it so I want to be with him. I can't be with u
anymore.
5:00pm AceB92: Okay

I didn't like lying. It was a bad idea. I couldn't believe he believed it though. He knows me better than that.
Ugh. Just tell him the truth. See if he tries to stop you, to make you stay, like he did that day when I saw the texts between him and Marissa. He was asking her out, telling her he has feelings for her, and she was refusing, telling him he has a girlfriend. They were with me, Rose, and Marissa. They helped me break up with him that day, which gave me this excruciating pain in my chest. It was hard but I did it, that day, but he begged me. He sent me messages all day long, on and on and on. Every minute. My snapchat, my google hangouts; they were all spammed with like 50 messages. I read them all. He was crying. I forgave him that day.
I decided to tell him the truth. I love him, after all, and it doesn't just fade away. He hurt me, but I still cannot get rid of the love I felt, and still feel, for him.

11:30pm Annnyy37: Hey. I lied. I'm sorry. I never went on a date. Who would go on a
date with me anyway, besides an idiot like you. I'm breaking up with you though. I can't
take it anymore.
11:45pm AceB92: Okay.
11:50pm AceB92: Can we still be friends?
12:00pm Annnyy37: Sure

*  *  *

"No. No. No. It can't be true. He wouldn't do that."
"Did you? Did you guys kiss? Did you do 'more than that', you know? Because I'm going
to kill him for going around lying! I can't believe he's saying such things!!" Rose
exclaimed, angrily.
"But-but-he had this privacy thing. He understood. He wanted to keep it among
ourselves. To not make everything public. He won't. Why??"
"That liar ugh" Rose screamed through the phone,"He told Claire and all."
"No way."
"You didn't though right?"
"No I did not do 'that' with him. We just kissed, that's all, okay?"
"People are like, liking him now. Coz of you and all...you know first girlfriend, and then
it was you. You of all people. He acts like everything in the school is about him. It's
disgusting."
"Oh god."

My lungs were running out of oxygen. I couldn't believe it. How could he? How could he use me like that? Was everything he said, everything he was, a lie? No, it cannot be. That glimmer, that smile, that shine of his eyes, cannot be a lie. Did I do something wrong? What changed? Why? I guess popularity is something many crave for and the ego he had, that everyone said he has, is finally showing through. Except, I see it, Rose sees it like she always had, my friends see it, but no one else does. I made them think he's perfect and now he has turned into someone else.

*  *  *

We don't talk anymore.

*  *  *

I don't think that bracelet means anything to him anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if he had trashed it. But to me, that green rubber bracelet is a piece of that innocent, loving guy that will never die, even if he isn't that person any longer. This bracelet signifies who he was, and brings me hope that one day he will remember the caring, down-to-earth guy he was. Not the one who broke all the promises, but the one who made them. Not the one who used me, but the one who loved me. One day, he will remember the promises. The dreams he had for us. And he will return.
However, I do not count on it.