My parents have been together the majority of my life . It was rare in my community for me to have both of my parents , this made me feel as if I was special and which made me take much pride in their relationship, being a young black family this made people look up to us and envy to be like us. So it was hard to believe that we had any problems at home. My parents barely fought when I was around , but there were rare occasions  where the echoes of their fussing woke me up out of my sleep at night.

There were times where my dad would stay the night at his friends' houses, a couple days at a time, but I didn’t think anything of it and I assumed  all couples spent time away from each other. It wasn’t until I grew older I understood what was really happening. Around middle school was when I actually started putting together the pieces of the puzzle.I have faint memories of my mother when she used to talk on the phone with her girlfriends. She used to try and set up metaphors to explain what was happening between her and my father , so I would be clueless to what was going on like “ The owl will always have love for the eagle buts it's not the same , she just doesn’t feel the same feelings she felt ten years ago”. I know I was just a child but ,it did not take me long to comprehend what was happening to my family.

My parents always seemed so perfect on the outside, but you can't judge books by the covers. They had problems which weren't a surprise because every couple has them , but the type of problems they had wasn’t the type you could just solve with apologies and kisses Goodnight. The only solution to their problems was space. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t love each other they just grew apart from each other. My mom practically grew up with my father they knew each other since she was in middle school,and she gave birth to me when she was in high school before they even had the chance for their personalities to mature they were burdened with responsibilities that grown adults couldn’t even handle . So they felt as if it was the best for them to stay together for my sake. I know for a fact if I was not born , my parents most likely would not have stayed together as long as they, I mean no one is the same person they were in high school people change and feelings change, people grow while others stay in the same mindset.Even though they aren’t together right now I still idolize their relationship and them as people . Some children don’t even have the opportunities to have any parents and I was blessed with two great ones.

I remember this day as if it were yesterday . I was walking around my neighborhood because my dog Bruno escaped from our backyard. My two best friends at the time decided to join me , we weren’t even halfway down the street when one of the girls stopped to say something to me to me that I could never forget “ Shania isn’t that your dad coming out of that house, he is probably cheating on your mother ,” she said this in the most nonchalant voice which shocked me even more., as I heard this remark I looked at her in disgust then backed up to try and process what she just said to me. I slowly turned around then began running to my  house, tears were streaming down my face I was so distressed I couldn’t even catch my breath so when I actually arrived at my house I let go of all the composure,then fell out onto the floor and began weeping.My mom asked me what was the matter so I told her. Her response was pure laughter , at first I mistook her laughing for sobbing, but when I looked up to her the only expression on her face was amusement , of course, I looked at her like she was crazy ,she saw the confusion on my face so she called my dad to come home. Once my dad arrived we all sat down together and my parents explain to me what was really going on. They were separated for months, it wasn’t that they didn’t love each other they both just had different views of what they wanted in the long run and they decided it was best to wait to tell me until they both had their lives together and truly knew what they were going to do.

It has been about four years since my parents have separated , and honestly, I feel like nothing has changed between any of us. Of course, it was kind strange at first to not see my dad every day , but he made it a priority for him to pick me up every weekend and on school breaks, and especially being there whenever I need him. Just because my parents are separated does not mean that they have bad blood towards each other, they still continue to communicate every day to keep in about me and how each other are doing . Once the years went by my parents also found new partners ,which was strange at first but it was also a blessing in disguise , Instead of having two wonderful parents , I have four.I am so grateful for the lessons and  struggles, my parents have helped overcome,together or not and I wouldn’t ask for my life to be any other way.