As a kid i didn’t imagine being grown would be like it is now. Only ‘cause freedom, happiness and friends were present, meant a great future. As a 17 year old in high school, depression gets the best of me, ESPECIALLY when motivation is low. In the 4th grade they diagnosed me clinically and i felt mothers heart being flushed with sadness and washing out the happiness she had with me. At home i would shut out everyone out, including my own two parents. I remember specifically one day, November 18th of last year i tried taking my own life. It was a night that i won’t forget. Consciousness ceased from my mind and it had eaten me like starved dogs eating. The razor was the slowest and painful, which was an interest of mine. Two inches from my skin, and my sister had exploded the door with her foot and sliced her finger saving my life. Emily, a friend of mine, called the ambulance and sent them to my address. 11:47 P.M and i see a blur if red and blue, oceans come out of mother's eyes, washing me away into the hospital bed. The feeling of waking up and hearing a constant beep, reminded me that hope is something more than just a word. I stopped taking the pills at the age of 12 and started self caring. I always thought “you’ll never amount to anything, quit trying” until the end of sophomore year. I had met the girl who re kindled my heart. Every time we saw each other, my brain was flooded with flowers, sun, warmness, and a beating heart. The hole was filled and my happiness was at its max feeling. I’m still recovering from the time she left me for another. From the past i learned patience and learned how to keep my head in straight during hard times. All i can say after 17 years of deception, everything will be okay .

I promise.