Losing one friend is hard, but when I lost two friends my whole world flipped upside down. I woke up one morning, in the best mood, my life was perfect, or so I thought so. Little did I know, I would soon lose two close friends.

      One night I was hanging out with my two friends and I thought everything was perfectly fine. When I went home that night, I quickly fell asleep. I woke up in the morning to fifteen texts from my best friend, telling me how I should not be friends with those two people anymore. They were spreading rumors about me and were toxic people. I denied it so fast, they would never I thought. But, as the thought kept processing in my head I realized it was true. So, I cut off all communication with both of them and told myself I would get over it. 

      I was lying to myself, I tried not caring and  pretending it didn't affect me. The situation got worse. I distanced myself from others, especially the one who told me. I blamed her, if she never told me, we would still be friends. I stopped going to church, too. I believed God hated me, because why would he do that to me? I always go to church every Sunday, so what did I do to deserve this? I would tell my parents I was going to twelve o’clock mass, because I “overslept” and missed ten o’clock mass with them. I would drive myself to church, but instead I would go and sit in Starbucks for an hour. Besides lying about going to church, I was also mean. In school I would barely talk to anyone and judged everyone who walked past me. 

      While my sisters were home from college one weekend, my mom woke me up on Sunday morning and told me we were going to a family mass. I had not been to church in about three months, and I was so angry. I told her I didn’t feel good, but it didn’t work. I got out of bed, and headed out the door for church. As I was sitting in the pew, purposely not paying attention to the homily, something caught my ear. The priest said, “No matter what happens, God loves each and every one of you and there is a reason why things happen.” 

      I didn’t know what to think. I thought it was odd. My first time at church in three months and the homily is so fitting to me. I decided right then and there that I need to stop being sorry for myself and grow up. I reached out to my best friend again and we hung out, I decided to keep going to church again with my parents, and I apologized for being mean. We talked about the situation and after some time became friends again. I realized the person I had become was not the person I am; there is no need to feel sorry for myself and no excuse to take my problems out on others. 

     I realized God put certain people in my life for a reason, and I need to be thankful for all of them. Even the negative people, taught me how to be true to myself and how to forgive them for my own sake.