“Alyssa, come down here,” My mother called upstairs. As I dragged myself down the stairs my mother and her best friend Ali were looking at me as if they had just won the lottery, and I was the winning ticket. Without hesitation, my mom looks at me and says, “I’m pregnant. The baby is due in June.” I was so shocked, and I did not know how to react. I was scared for change because I had been an only child for so long. I was scared of getting judged because most people do not have baby siblings as a senior in high school. But most of all, I was fearful of something bad happening to my brother Carson because of what happened to my baby brother on my dad’s side years ago. When I was ten years old, I lost my baby brother to SIDS. Ever since then, I have always had my guard up to make sure that all my family members are okay, especially the babies. 

Each day, my little brother Carson gets smarter and grows bigger. I remember when he was first born in May of last year, so small, so fragile. I could hold his tiny head in the palm of my hand. Now in January, he is crawling, laughing, trying to make out words, sticking his tongue out, and rolling all over the floor. 

This picture was taken a few weeks ago while he was playing on his music mat by my mother. I love this picture because it captures what a sweet and happy boy he is everyday. He is always laughing and smiling at us, even when we wake him up with the blinding light of the sun in the morning. I love this picture because I am so grateful that he has grown up to be a healthy, happy, amazing little boy. I know he is only 8 months old, but he has made such an enormous impact on my life. He has taught me patience and shown me what endless love looks like.