“I guarantee I’ll be a Varsity this year!” Oozing with confidence, I gloated at my friends. Yet, underneath the pretentious facade, I was desperately trying to stabilize my wavering voice and oscillating eyes, hiding the massive insecurity I held inside. As I left my friends and walked through the white corridor outside of the locker room, I whispered to myself, repeating, ‘I can do this. I can do this.’ The rubber soles of my volleyball shoes squeaked against the wooden floor, echoing through the halls. My new pair of shoes, bought explicitly for my tryout session, uncomfortably nudged against my heels, making me squirm. They’ll still do the trick.

             I have been part of the school’s volleyball team for the last three years; nevertheless, just being in one of the teams did not quench my soul’s desire. I wanted to be a part of the varsity team’s prestige and, from there, a starter and perhaps even a captain. I was no longer playing volleyball as a sport but as a badge to uplift my ego. However, my physical abilities seemed to derail my plans as my movements were nothing close to being talented. Other teammates took huge strides, so I scurried, spending ample time on the court just to catch up. With all the sweat I spilled in training each year, I was hopeful for a breakout year that repeatedly fell short of expectations. Yet again, this could be my moment to earn the coveted varsity spot.

             As I entered the gym, I was overwhelmed by the intense energy. The loud booming noises of volleyballs hitting the wooden floor throbbed in my ear. The intensity always makes me feel lightheaded, blurring my vision. I slowly put my blue shoes onto the wooden court and timidly stretched my arms, hamstrings, and quads. Slowly, I walked into the middle of the large court. I scurried over to the ball rack and picked up the yellow and blue striped sphere. The smooth texture felt strange in my arms, and the ball kept trying to slip away as I had to juggle my way through just to hold it together.

“Eddie! It’s just a game!” A familiar voice soothed my soul. Remarkably, Coach James seems to know exactly what to say. “You put too much pressure on yourself, Eddie. You gotta let go and trust yourself in the hours you put in.” His words of wisdom are always so reliable, always proving to be true. I’ve let my ego get in the way of truly enjoying volleyball and being in the moment. The intensity, the team spirit, and the resilience were why I was infatuated with volleyball in the first place, not showboating my accomplishments.

I didn’t get into the varsity team. The reality of life doesn’t always unfold like a movie where one inspiration from a coach all of a sudden conjures impressive physical abilities. Hence, in the complexity of life, every perspective of wisdom is so valuable. Beyond sports, Coach Jame’s words resound in all aspects of my life. More than my jumping abilities and spiking abilities, under Coach James I’ve learned to grow in the self-awareness of my inflating ego that stems from insecurities. I’ve learned to do my absolute best and enjoy the process rather than fixating on specific achievements.

People like Coach James are hidden heroes of society, mentoring and nourishing the youth in their development and forming foundation values in navigating life. Interacting with Coach James, I can always sense that he wanted to impart something beyond volleyball. To him, volleyball season comes and goes, but the lessons we learn from the experience can last a lifetime. We’ve won many games under Coach James’ guidance. He knows how to get the best of us. I’ve learned to enjoy each game and each rally that I had. Am I going to try to reach varsity next year? Of course, I am! Whether I’ll be on varsity next year or not is uncertain. But I am certainly maturing each year, thanks to people like Coach James, in which my growth is his living accolade.