I am a self proclaimed Ghost Writer. I write for myself, hidden behind the persona of anonymity.

I am almost positive my true self is a transparent figure, floating through life. I like it this way, if I feel my cloak of invisibility start to slide and reveal any aspect of my identity, thoughts, or feelings, I feel a disturbing and unusual feeling of embarrassment and shame.

 Ever since I was a kid, my brain has constantly been buzzing with the thought of whatever next top 10 book I was certain to write. Unfortunately, I never wrote a word of any of my ideas. They were all pipe dreams destined to become past embarrassment and regrets, so I never dared to write them down. The only time I ever went crazy with written expression was when I could be a ghost writer, which is ironically what I am currently doing. This started in middle school, when we would write vocab plays and stories: inserting a random plethora of words into fictitious stories. I always chose a partner who I knew would let me take all creative control. I went crazy, pouring all aspects of my personality out on the paper, and letting my partner take the credit and praise from the teacher. I hated myself for this. I still do. I have never wanted to stand out in any way, including the good ways. I have always been a self sabotager, and fear I always will be. There is an aspect of comfort in being a ghost writer, I know that no one will truly judge me, they don't know who I am, all they know is who my characters are, and who I want them to be. 

For all the ghost writers out there, pour your heart out, who cares anyways?