I was born in Japan, of Chinese descent. I spent half of my life in Shanghai, and

another half in Tokyo. Throughout my childhood, I was never exposed to any sort of

racial marginalization, but as I grew up, my eyes were opened to the conflict between my two cultures.

In my new school, I met many Chinese people. These were a new group of

people that I had little in common with besides knowing Mandarin. We became great friends, and enjoyed being able to converse in our native tongue. However, at times,

sudden phrases, jokes, stabs puncture the amiable atmosphere. They accentuate my

Japanese background, as if I am not aware of it myself. As a joke, they refer to me as

“日本鬼子“ which was used to insult Japanese soldiers that committed massacres on

the Chinese. Of course, they are only making jokes and the rupture would be quickly

mended by laughter and changed topics.

November 1937, the Japanese army conquered Shanghai, and was now
advancing towards China’s capital of Nanjing. The Chinese army withdrew their forces
in Nanjing as it was not in a defensible position. The government fled, but the citizens
were left to fend for themselves against the Japanese forces. This was the start of the
Nanjing Massacre, one of the most infamous human actions in recorded history.
Japanese soldiers ran unchecked as they did whatever they wanted with the naked city
of Nanjing. Up to 300,000 people were killed, and up to 80,000 raped. Victims were
tortured, disembowled, decapitated… Children and elderly were not exceptions.

In 8th grade, in a classroom in Tokyo, my class learned about this event. The pictures, chronicles…gut-wrenching emotions boiled in me, and that very moment, I felt that every bit of Chinese hatred for the Japanese was justified. My nails dug into my palm.

July 6, 2022. I had just woken up, and I was eating breakfast when the news
broadcasted that Shinzo Abe, the ex-prime minister of Japan had been shot. My family,
along with the rest of Japan, was sitting on the edge of their seats, anxious to see what
happened. I returned to my room as I didn’t really care. A few hours later he was
announced dead, assassinated.

I didn’t expect to hear of Abe again, but his death was trending on social media,
and I couldn’t help but notice the countless posts and comments about him. I saw
pictures of him tending to senior citizens, visiting orphanages, giving political speeches,
and a memorable photo of him kneeling with his hands in a praying gesture before the
Nanjing Massacre memorial in China, acknowledging the wrongs of his ancestors and
asking for forgiveness. I was deeply moved, and saddened that a good man was lost
today.

A while later, when I was using WeChat, I saw another post of Abe’
as my eyes wandered down the comment section, I was disgusted and appalled. There
were comments that read “Good riddance he’s dead”, “We need to break the shooter
s shooter, but out of prison”, “That shooter is the only man in Japan”, and one that disgusted me most“日服第一男抢”, which translates to ‘the best sniper in the Japanese server.’

In BBC’s World Service Ranking Poll, where 30,000 people from 27 countries
were asked about each of the countries’influence on the international community, 71%
of the Chinese people expressed that Japan’s influence was negative. In contrast to
what each of the other countries thought, China’s view on Japan was a severe outlier.

On Chinese Anti-Japanese Sentiment：I can see why many people have the hatred they have for the Japanese. But theymust be able to see that that hatred is towards the Japanese Army that existed eighty years ago, and not towards the current generation. Their grandchildren did not do anything to us let alone our ancestors, so why should they bear the blame for the
demonic actions of their ancestors? We must not be blinded by hate. This is a painful
topic because although I am Chinese, it feels like I am being alienated from my home
because of my Japanese background. We must Open the Eyes of those who are Blinded by Hate.