Dear me, 

It’s currently 9:48 at night and I am going ballistic. I can’t find my retainer and it’s making me go insane. Yes, I know I will probably find it in a long or even short time, but I need to go to bed. I can’t go without my retainer. And yes, future me, I am aware it’s only a quarter till 10, but it's a school night and my teeth don’t sit right in my mouth without it, and I am now aware of my tongue touching the roof of my mouth. I now can hear the sylva swish against my teeth and gums. I want to rip out my hair and slam my head into the wall and scream at anyone who comes near me.

I am losing my mind.

Now I am getting yelled at for keeping the light on for too long because my sister is trying to go to bed which I should be joining her in but I’m not, I can’t.

goodnight,

Dear me,

I already know how that story ended and how I feel towards it now. However, I thought I should write back out of compassion. 

I never found my retainer—I have gone weeks without the proper one. I now have to get braces again, only for six of my bottom teeth, for the low price of 1,574 dollars. Throughout this little but traumatic experience I have come to realize what I can and can’t live without. Even though I don’t want to, I can live without that plastic mosque in my mouth. Yes, it came with further complications and consequences, but I can live without it. On the contrary it caused my mom to become very disappointed in me; a known perspective I could easily recognize. She couldn’t even speak when I told her. She opened her mouth slightly, but slowly closed it and then just walked away into the darkness of her room. 

Goodbye,

     You