Music. The world feels silent without it. And I don't think I could live without it. Something as common, often taken for granted. Sometimes good, sometimes dangerous. 

Freshman year. Light. Happy. Joyful. The sounds drifting into my ears were upbeat, reflecting my excitement for my new adventure. Like sunbeams streaming on your face. These songs make you want to beam from ear to ear. Singers like Mxmtoon became my life’s soundtrack. 

Sophomore year. Sweet. Simple. Pretty. This year, the beats playing were comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold fall day. These songs felt familiar, to artists like Lizzy Mcalpine and Leanna Firestone. They felt like home. 

I guess that might be why music is something I can't live without. Somehow, a song has the ability to make you feel something. When everything is so seemingly artificial, music stays consistent. Sure, the style changes, but it is one thing that stays by you. Having that one song you get to call your own, relating to people who have never met you. When you find a song that speaks your words for you; that might be the best feeling in the world.

But when your melody changes, music can become as dangerous as a knife.

Junior year. Suffocating. Isolating. Regretful. An unexpected shift this year. No longer were the songs lighthearted. No, not this year. This year, the melodies reflected a different side of me. When my feelings fell, my music followed. Like cold rain pouring on my freezing body. Gracie Abrams and Phoebe Bridgers flooded my ears. It always made things feel worse, and yet, I let it. 

This senior year, I'm hoping my songs will return to the comforting lullabies again. And while I don't think my soundtracks will ever go back to the way they once were, I hope that I can start a new verse. A verse that doesn't try to mask hurting lyrics with an upbeat tempo.

Music has been with me through everything: good and bad Without it, the world would suddenly become silent. And I think that's why I can't live without it. Somehow, a composition of beats, words, and instruments can become everything to a person. Music was the constant in my life I once took for granted. Once, but never again.