Don't Make My Mistake | Teen Ink

Don't Make My Mistake

October 3, 2009
By FakelyMe BRONZE, Ambridge, Pennsylvania
FakelyMe BRONZE, Ambridge, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Feel what you write and write what you feel.

“The cuts went all the way up her arm. I knew I should tell, but I couldn’t. It made me sick to see that someone could do something so disgusting to themselves. Who could hate themselves enough to do something so horrible? Then I remembered, I was looking in the mirror.

I know it seems ridiculous, but sometimes I honestly forgot that the totally insane person in the mirror was me. I think that I didn’t want to remember so I didn’t. I wanted so bad to crawl out of my skin and never come back to it. Sometimes I would dream about what it would be like to be someone totally different. I think the honest truth was that I wanted to die and be reincarnated, but I didn’t believe in that. Everyday I took on the role of someone new. One day was the class clown and the next day I was one of the popular girls. I changed to what everyone wanted me to be. I thought that if I made everyone else like me I would like myself. Then I realized that wasn’t going to help.”

I wrote this two years ago. I know it seems ridiculous, but this is how I felt. I guess you can tell that I was not to happy. I went along like that for a while. This piece was supposed to be me in the future remembering how stupid it was. I think I was off on how it would seem. The missing part of this piece was about how I got over my insecurities and I rarely look back, but that isn’t how it works.

Everyone thinks that when you get past a rough patch you can go on and never look back, but it isn’t always that simple. Sometimes you need years to get past those things. I did and I think that I may still need a couple more.

I used to swallow pills just to try and hurt myself. I used to literally beat myself with things because I felt that I was a horrible person. Why did I feel that way? Let me give you a background.

I was raped. Yep from the time I was five until I was thirteen I was repeatedly molested by a family member. Not my father for anyone who was wondering, but it happened. I know that it seems ridiculous to some people, but I blamed myself. To be honest some days I still do.

I am sure that while reading this you are probably wondering what the point of this is. The point I am trying to make is this, do not do what I did. I mean it. I made these mistakes that I still regret to this day. If you feel like things are never going to get better, rethink it. I mean it. I hurt myself countless times. I cut myself, beat myself, and I tried to kill myself with pills and a knife. I learned my lesson the hard way, but take it from me. Things are going to get better. They will, but you can not give up. Keep moving forward.

The author's comments:
This piece is meant to make people see that I made it through and so will you. If you are having a hard time don't give up. You will get through it eventually. Even when it seems unbearable don't give up.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Oct. 29 2009 at 2:12 pm
VampireDory16 BRONZE, Jackson, Louisiana
1 article 1 photo 13 comments
this made me cry, because was/am in that situation. It hurts someone else had to go through it...I'm so happy you chose to move forward...maybe I can do the same one day

on Oct. 14 2009 at 7:39 pm
DizzyRae PLATINUM, Fort Washington, Maryland
20 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
“For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke

You should keep moving forward. A lot times the victim will feel guilty in a situation like urs. But of course it wasnt ur fault. No matter what you did wrong or right or anything.

drama qu 101 said...
on Oct. 14 2009 at 4:19 pm
wow thats like really bad how can u let that happen tu u? thats like really offense!!!! plz dont take it the rong way