“You must be the materialistic one then! I bet you give your dad real trouble, don’t you,” this stranger says to me as the surrounding bystanders chuckle politely. The truth is everyone knows he is right they just don’t have the strength or courage to admit it. I am materialistic, and I do cause my dad trouble… financial trouble that is. And somehow this guy—this stranger—is able to see that in just a matter of seconds.

I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to be the one people sigh and say, “she’s acquisitive”. That’s who I am on the outside: flashy, materialistic, ostentatious. Not me on the inside. It’s a protective cover, a shield that blocks me from reality.

I watch as my dad nods his head, wholeheartedly agreeing with this man’s quick assessment of me. My gaze then follows in the direction of this stranger’s eyes. He’s looking at my sister as he says, “Yeah, she’s simple, isn’t she? Must be a relief after this one!” Again my ears are filled with polite laughter, no one daring to disagree with the apparent truth.

Don’t you see how this affects me…how it hurts me! Am I really that difficult to handle and control? Am I really that … awful?

My protective shield breaks down inside of me, releasing a river of hurt feelings. No wonder my daddy has always loved my sister more. She’s down to earth, compassionate, and practical. I’m just the one who demands “more” and “now”. That’s what I am in his eyes: demanding.

After a few more exchanges with this stranger, we depart and go our separate ways. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

No.

The thoughts and insults from this afternoon swarm in my head like vicious sharks. I finally give in to the feeling, drowning in sorrow as the sharks overwhelm me and drag me under.

I guess my daddy won’t have to worry about my demands anymore…