Suicide, I know all too much about this word. The hopes and dreams that you will go to sleep and just not wake up. Crying until your eyes are swollen, missing school because you do not want people to find out. It hurts and destroys you. You feel so alone and you feel that if you die people will be better off. I am going to let you know something there not.
I used to be like many people. I could not understand how someone could cut their wrist to solve their problems. Then all of a sudden, I felt like I was holding the weight of the world on my soldiers. I did not want to do anything, I was always crying, my grades slipped. I can only speak from the way that I felt. I started cutting because the pain on the inside was so unbearable that I wanted to make it equal on the outside. I probably wrote 15 different suicide notes, I was going to kill my self. I always ended up throwing them away or just hiding them in my room. One time I actually put one in my mom’s room and right before she got up I took it back.
I can remember one day, I had just had a horrible day at school. Some girl was talking crap about me and just being mean. I literally stood in the kitchen for like and hour holding a knife. I was going to kill myself. Just when I was going to do it my disabled brother came home from school happy ran over to see me and hugged me. I lost it he held me o the kitchen floor, I just cried and cried. I realized I could not do it just for him. It does not matter what I do how my day is he will always love me. I then realized all my problems could be fixed. The next day I asked my mom if she had ever found any of my notes. Since she stated she cleaned and dug in my room all the time. She lied to me. My mom had never done any of that. She never knew, when I came home from school that day she had the suicide hotline on hold for me.
From that day on, I realized that even though at times everything feels like the end of the world, its not. There are many more cases like this; there was one man who jumped off a bridge to kill him self he lived. In the hospital, he said that just as he had jumped he realized his problems could be solved. He just needed help.
If you have ever had feelings of sadness or thoughts of death last longer then a week please call your doctor or the suicide hotline. The suicide hotline is always open 24/7. There are many other support groups also like. To write love on her arms, the other half.com is just two of them.
If you do not understand why people do this ask questions research. Calling people cowards and making them feel worst then they already do makes life worst for them.