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Goodbye My Heart
“You’ll regret it when you’re older.”
Her heart started to crack.
She ignored his words and nuzzled closer to his warmth. He only sighed and wrapped his arms around her small shivering body hoping to warm her up, if only a little. Her straight reddish brown hair created a veil over face, shielding her emerald green eyes from the bright lights. She wasn’t very tall, but the boy she was with made up for her lack of height with his own stature. His hair was rather short, a dark brown color, mocking his playful cerulean eyes. They were both dressed nicely; the girl wore black jeans with matching black Converse, her top was a gray-black camisole with printed butterfly designs, the boy reflected her black pants with his own, his shirt made of a light breezy fabric was blue with invisible vertical lines.
“No I won’t.” She replied softly, almost a whisper.
The dull lights overhead made an irritating buzzing sound and the long, dirty, white tables had cold food on them that started to collect fruit flies. Mismatched tiles lined the cold colorless floor and dirt stained walls boxed in an already suffocating room. On one end of the room there was a stage, old and discolored with age.
There were several doors surrounding them. On the right there were two grand doors leading to a room that led to the outside. On the adjoining wall there were three doors, one led to what looked like an office room. Another led to the room they had previously been in, the one with several round tables with white table clothes and bowls full of random snacks and chips.
“You can’t make me.” She said, almost talking to herself. The bright light buzzed louder, creating a thick atmosphere. It gave her a headache.
Renee’s voice was muffled by Luneth’s shirt, but she would not take her face away. Feeling the soft fabric surround her face made her forget what was happening, and right now that was all she wanted.
“We should go soon.”Luneth started to wonder how long she could put this off for; the car would leave soon, and his girlfriend’s chances started to run lower with each minute. He pulled Renee’s face away and looked at her eyes. Tears were restricted behind her eye lids and Luneth felt his own stomach drop by the sadness in her eyes.
She turned her back and stepped away in the opposite direction of Luneth. She heard his sigh of disapproval but started walking in small circles, following the floor’s pattern.
“We should be leaving soon.” He tried again softly.
“We’re not waiting for me, you know. I’m ready to leave right now.” Renee hated thinking about this, and she got annoyed very easily. She wanted to go home, far away from this building and the people in it.
Renee heard them talking in the other room, and every murmur brought that crack deeper into her heart.
“You keep saying you’re ready but I think there’s something you should do first.” Luneth took one big step towards the small petite figure and took her shoulders in his hands.
Renee swallowed hard and looked up at the comforting boy looking over her face. Her eyes burned. Renee turned away. She didn’t dare look at his face any longer for fear her eyes would be broken by the wall of tears hiding just behind her veil of solemnity.
“Are you okay?”
“I want to go home.” Renee’s voice cracked as she thought about what she would have to do. She knew she would have to, this day had to come, but she never thought it would come so soon.
The thought of what would happen made her stomach twist into knots. In the back of her mouth she felt acid burning deep into her throat, and her eyes burnt harshly with unwanted tears.
Luneth’s face fell as he saw Renee’s composure diminishing fast. He closed the gap between their bodies and held her as she began to sob. Tears blended in with his shirt, and all he could do was hold her tighter.
In a few minutes, people started to notice the poor small girl crying, and Luneth noticed their eyes watching. He started to direct her towards the exit, and she followed willingly, quickly wiping her tear stained face.
Renee took deep breathes, and followed Luneth out the double doors and into the near empty parking lot.
Outside the sky was bright and the sun was out, the old building seemed to be deteriorating; bricks were loose and cracks climbed up the walls. Renee went over and sat down against the wall, her long reddish hair gleaming in the sun. Her vivid green eyes turned down and her face turned inward, trying as hard as she could to hold back the panic attack that was happening inside of her from coming out. Her heart’s crack deepened, and nothing could hold back the relentless barrage of tears and sobs that fell upon this young sixteen year old girl.
Luneth closed the door and went immediately to her side, one look at her and he felt helpless, but he could offer no comfort. He didn’t know what to say, and he knew there were no words that could save her from this hell. The only thing he could do was wrap his arms around her and hold her tight, shielding her body to keep from shaking, though this barely even worked.
Renee lost all composure she tried to save. Her face turned red and giant sobs wracked her tiny body. Unheard cries lodged in her throat, and bile formed in her throat. Her eyes collected tears for only a moment before they fell, only to be replaced with a dozen more in its place. Her heart could take it no more. Her body shook with the force of her silent tears, and every sob could be felt through her, letting Luneth know she wouldn’t stop crying for a long time, and the only other comfort he could give was rubbing her back softly and holding her body up, preventing gravity from crushing her completely.
The couple stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until Renee’s tears stopped completely and her sobbing stopped. Luneth offered her help up, but she only stared at him with red eyes.
“You know I don’t want to go back in there.”
“I know, love, but we have to.” Luneth bent down and looked into her eyes, brushing away loose strands of her hair. “You might never get another chance.”
In her mind Renee knew he was right. She swallowed the lump in her throat and followed him back inside, into the room full of round tables, over to the last group of people. She took a deep breath and stopped in the crowded room, feeling the air suffocating her with every passing minute. Luneth took hold of her hand tightly, and squeezed her fingertips gently.
She said her goodbyes to the faces in the crowd, but never turned her head to the right, keeping her shoulder tilted ever so slightly, that she never needed to look at him.
In a few moments, her mother voiced their leaving, and Renee said her farewell’s again, giving meaningless hugs and smiles, keeping her lungs at a steady intake.
The moment finally came.
She turned to the right and looked a stranger in the face. His eyes were worn down from sleepless nights. He was very tall, with a natural Italian skin tone, hair thinning here and there, gray creeping over his aged head.
Luneth grasped her hand tighter, though Renee cold feel nothing but the lump in her throat breaking. Only three of them were left in the smaller room now, the others having gone out the door. The air closed its hold on Renee and her head felt light, and a dream like feeling crept over her shaken body.
“Goodbye dad.” She turned swiftly out the door, knowing Luneth followed, and with that, the knowledge that at least one man in the world would never leave her again.
In the car Renee did nothing to conceal the tears, her nose was red and worn from sniffling. As she sat in the black car she felt the crack in her heart moved deeper. Her heart had finally broken in two.
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