Religion vs. My Heart | Teen Ink

Religion vs. My Heart

February 11, 2011
By Anonymous

They didn’t believe it at first, they just ignored it. It scared me how calm they stayed despite how obvious it was.

My parents knew I was dating another girl, but they never said anything, they waited for me to come out to them on my own. Something I could never do because the girl happened to be someone they hated. I can’t imagine the shame they felt in me when they found me out.
They’re so religious, and raised me to be the same way, but I never really fit in at the church. And I didn’t believe some of the crap they were forcing in my head, about how I was going to burn in Hell for all eternity because of the way I was born. It scared me and I shattered my only true love’s heart because of that fear for us. I sold my soul to protect her, to give her a seat in Heaven.
What a mistake it was worrying about all that. I have seen no proof in God, although I would l like to believe he’s there. I wish people wouldn’t think I'm nuts when I expressed my views on Atheism. An Athiest and Lesbian. God surely must hate me by now.
Or so I thought.
I made a final choice not to long ago, that God’s there, but that doesn’t mean he's going to step in for all our problems, and I'm not going to risk it, if he IS real, I don’t want to get sent to hell for condemning him, so I’ll believe for my own benefit like a selfish skank. And my parents will forget this whole lesbian thing ever happened. Everyone will be happy.
But I will still be in my cage. Never to be set free.


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