I recently went to an event in Illinois called Revolution. Before I go on, I think I must explain that event. It was a five day trip on which we did service projects, held sermons and worship, had our own prayer time and group discussions. This event was for teens from middle school ages to high school.

One specific sermon spoke to me (and to my boyfriend) more than anything. This sermon was so intense. At one point, the speaker pointed out that sometimes forgiveness is needed for crossing boundaries that cost the people you love (in the dating context.) My boyfriend looked over at me and even with my head down on the verge of tears I saw the guilt on his face.

The next huge thing to hit me was his big point of the sermon. He was talking about being a follower instead of a fan. (a fan is someone who could put everything into their worship and prayer when in front of people but their heart isn't actually in it, where as being a follower means following Christ in a disciple-like way)He said most of the people in the room were likely to be fans, but if you were ready to become a follower to stand up. Well, there was a problem. My boyfriend didn't stand....and neither did I.

See both of us were feeling this guilt. We both felt God working in our hearts because we knew the stuff we were doing was not honoring God in the ways he wanted us to. We were being a worldly couple instead of a Godly one. We had been dishonoring my parents this whole time by not telling them we were dating behind their backs.

When neither of us stood, a woman came up behind us and put her hands on us and prayed for us. Soon after, I decided I couldn't stand the guilt eating away at me and I couldn't stand keeping in God's love trying to reach my heart. I ran out bawling. I knew instantly it was the Holy Spirit working in me and was just overwhelmed.

That night at group discussions it took everything in me to walk up the steps into the church loft to where my youth group was waiting. I was ashamed! I had just admitted to the world that I wasn't following God the way I was supposed to. I was afraid of being judged and didn't say a word that night. I went to bed crying even more.

When I woke up the next morning, my boyfriend came up to me and told me he wanted us to change for the better. Stop doing the bad stuff. I was so overjoyed knowing he was effected because I had been praying for that moment for months. The smile he put on me didn't leave my face all day.....

.....until 1 a.m. that next morning. Our youth group confronted us about our relationship and what was going on between us. I sat curled up on the couch, my head down, while my boyfriend spilled everything. The terrifying thing is his brother was there questioning us too and that was the last person I wanted to know. Not because I didn't trust him but because I didn't want him to think less of his brother. That was one more night I went to bed crying.

It took all of this for God's love to completely take over me and fill every bone in my body. I was transformed and during this experience I recommitted my life to Christ. It's just such an amazing feeling of perfectly radical peace I couldn't help sharing with as many people as possible. All I pray now is that God's life can shine through me so I can effect the insane amount of people I desire to show God's love to.