“Come on baby push, you’re doing a great job! You’re almost there! He’s coming, I see him!” I then hear my baby boy crying. “3:32am!” the nurses shouted. “Baby, he’s beautiful.” I get my son handed to me and I am in shock, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, so fragile, and so precious in my life before. I stay speechless and look to my left and see Miguel with a smile on his face, he turns to look at me and in his eyes I see our relationship being played from where it all began to us having our child being born.
It was May 30th of 2010 when I first really looked into his eyes, I remember him catching my attention when I first saw him, 5’6” with a nice tan skin color, and he had a fade that was growing out, a white tee, and some black dickeys with black high top shoes. I never realized how brown his eyes were until March 30th and that’s when he leaned in for the first kiss, a kiss I couldn’t explain, a kiss so powerful that I didn’t want to believe it. All I kept thinking was that it was the summer, summer love always happens. Love at first sight? No, that happens in movies. Love at first kiss? No, that happens in fairy tales, and that’s where my story begins, with denial.
Months passed and things were perfect, nothing could have ruined our summer love at the time but then things changed. We argued, he betrayed, I resented but I forgave. We’d patch up our differences just to get re-torn apart. I felt like our end was near and then I found out I was pregnant. We were kids ourselves, how were we going to raise a kid by our self? We didn’t know if it was going to make us or break us, true love always finds its way right? Were we going to get married? Are we supposed to get married? Will I spend my whole life with him? I began my journey with doubt.
My pregnancy came and went with the same trials as before. There was more arguing, more betrayal and more resentment, and I always forgave him. I felt if this world were perfect then we can make it work but I doubted it. For a while I gave up, I grew up and left. I wanted the best for my son that was going to be entering the world but somehow Miguel kept finding his way back into our lives. Then the best happened, he stepped up to the plate, he matured, and he changed. Good things really do come to those who wait.
Angel is born and things have changed. We went from summer puppy love to hate and now we’re a happy family. I look at my son and see both of us in him every day. He smiles so much like both of us, light brown eyes like his mom, brown hair like his dad, cheeks from his mom and light skin from me as well. Then I look at the father of my child and see love, I see hope and I see the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Every night when I put Angel to sleep and lay him down I see heaven. I put him down and look around and see all his little toys spread and thrown everywhere, I see him in his comfortable crib and I know I am giving him all I can. A small room but I manage for him, with his jungle animals on the wall that match the rest of his theme and turn on his night light and turn off the lights. I lay in my bed next to his crib every night and pray, thanking for everything I have. Angel is our trophy of our trials and is the glue that is keeping us picture perfect.
Angel reminds me of where it all began. It was love at first sight and love at first kiss. We made it through the worse and love really does find its way. I let go and waited and good things really do come to those who wait. I am no longer in denial or in doubt and I believe everything happens for a reason. I am continuing my journey with the two loves of my life with faith. I don’t know if he’ll leave, maybe he’ll stay and we’ll continue to grow and be a happy family. I am continuing to go with what life continues to throw at me and accept that these trials are making me stronger. I am not only getting stronger for myself but I am getting stronger for my son. I never knew how strong I was until being strong was the only choice I had. So I continue to be strong with this strong love that I have with Miguel and our new family that we have started.
“Come on baby, I put Angel back to sleep. Did you finish your essay?”
“Yeah, I’m finishing it up.”
“Okay, let’s go to bed.”