I have felt out of place and discriminated against a number of times in my life. When I was really little probably before I started elementary school this girl on my block decided to make fun of me because I was overweight and by doing so she tried to single me out and take me away from my best friend. She wanted to play ring-around-the-Rosie and lock our pinkies together I said I didn’t want to do that and she said “Why? Is it because your fingers are too big to curl around our fingers?” I said, “No.” So we played, and she purposely flung me to the ground. I went home after that. But now she is fatter than I am and she smokes and she does poorly in school. We don’t talk to each other and I could care less because she moved away.

When I was in third grade this new kid felt like being a bully and thought it would be a good idea to make fun of me and my friend. One day in the hall we were walking in the hall way and he walked past us and called me Freckle face and my friend four eyes. Later on we found out that he was just lonely and had no friends; so we became his friend. He moved awhile after that.

When I was in fourth grade my other friend and I were bullied by these two boys. The tall one hated me but liked my friend; the short one hated my friend but liked me. The really tall one had a birthday party and invited everyone in the class except for me, even my friend was invited and my little sister was friends with his sister so she got to go too! After a while he gave up being mean to me and the four of us formed an alliance. Then the tall kid moved.

In sixth grade I liked the short kid but he hated me this time. Since my friends were friends with his friends and him, he decided it would be a good idea to tell all of my friends a secret about me and they decided it would be a good idea not to tell me. He made it obvious what he was doing and my friends said to me “he told me something about you but I’m not allowed to tell you.” That really hurt me, and I felt betrayed. Then one of my friends found out when we were babysitting with girl scouts for a blood drive, and she told me about it. He was going around and telling everyone that he hated me and that I was fat and ugly and that I had no friends. He doesn’t go to our school anymore he got kicked out and goes to a military school.

Later on in the year we had to write a paper in ELA about someone we admire. I wrote the paper about myself and how even though all of my friends curse I don’t curse and I was able to persuade one friend not to curse. I also wrote how I’m not afraid to stick up for what I believe in and reprimand my family members for smoking. I was able to get my older cousin to participate in the no smoking day. Well when my friends found out about my paper, they decided not to talk to me for a really long time. They completely isolated me from the world, and it was not fun. They had every right to be mad at me but no one deserves to be treated like that. I’m still really good friends with all of those people except for one who pretended to be our friend but then turned out to bully everyone. She dated the short kid that I liked and then another kid that I liked who turned out to be gay and she tormented my other friend in 8th and 9th grade. But she moved to Colorado.

When I was in 8th grade these really thin girls wore tank tops to gym, and they never got yelled at or told to change. So one day gym started to get really hot, and I wore a tank top to gym; you want to know what happened? I’m pretty sure you can guess that I was told to change. Well you’re right. When I asked the gym coach “but why did you let all these other girls wear tank tops before?” She told me it was because she didn’t even notice them before. That was like a smack in the face. You don’t notice when half the class is wearing a tank top but you notice when the one fat girl is wearing one?

In chorus I feel out of place from time to time because of the select ensemble groups such as the past Treble and Chamber groups and the current Cantate. All of my friends made it into that group except for me and one other who tried out. So my friends will be hanging out and then they bring up Cantate and I feel left out. It’s really not any fun at all. Also in chorus when it comes to choosing the solos, I feel as if they always choose favorites. I have tried out for a solo every time one is offered for my voice part, and I’m always turned down I got really close to a solo in tenth grade. Then the teacher decided it shouldn’t be a solo anymore so everyone sang that one part. Then again in tenth grade I made it to the final rounds for a solo and instead of giving it to me, she gave it to my best friend. I was really happy for her but still I really wanted it. But this year the people who made it into the “oh holly night” second rounds were only people who are in Cantate. I want to ask my teacher “what am I doing wrong because obviously I have to be doing something wrong if I’ve tried out for every solo possible and I’ve never gotten one” mean while the favorites get several solos. Fortunatly for me I never gave up when it came to the solos and I kept trying out. I can Happily report that I was given a group solo in "Famine Song"for my very last concert. I am proof that if you never give up and keep trying you will succeed.

In band though there are no favorites. The band and orchestra people are all treated equally. Everyone has a shot at getting a solo. It’s always a surprise who gets the solo, and I love that. But in marching band this year I was on flag line; it’s acknowledged as a sport in college; and we are treated different from the band and when we go out I always here people in the band muttering something really mean and nasty towards the flag line and it bothers me sometimes but most of the time I just shrug it off. What really annoys me is how disrespectful the stupid tailgate team is. They will see someone on the flag line that they know and start chanting their name and singling them out. This isn’t them trying to be supportive. It’s them making fun of that girl. I know this because it’s those same people, who have always been mean, and I just know how they work because they’re in my grade and I’ve grown up with them. You know what I mean?

My laast year of High School many of my friends consider it the Hell year; I have to say I can't dissagree with them. We all managed to get into a fight with someone in our group of friends because one person said something behind another person's back and it got back to everyone. Alot of lies were told and many feelings were hurt. My own personal drama started as soon as the New Year of 2012 Rang. It was like the death tolls of a twelve year friendship being thrown into a grave. I would say most ofmy close friends drink but I don't approve of it. M one friend threw a drinking party at her house for New Year's Eve she invited all of our friends except for me and two others. I was not informed about this party she told me she had a prior family engagement for her brother's inlaws. I didn't speak to her for a good two weeks. I wantedto see if she would tell me the truth or if she would continue to lie to me. Unfortunatly I don't know how to hide my feelings and everyone knew I was mad. I finally confronted her about it and she tried to get out by telling me more lies. When I calledher out on them she tried to bring up past issues that I have had that had nothing to do with the current situation. She had become mad at me and we went for another two weeks without talking. I was receiving constant hate texts from alot of people and I couldn't handlethe stress anymore and I broke down in the middle of my English class. My teacher brought me down to the social worker and I told her all that had happened. That was the first and last time I had ever gone to that office. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it to anyone either. When the fighting died down and we silently agreed to ourselves that wewould not continue the friendship it was weird and awkward to bein the same room as eachother. She would go on and on to our lunch group about all thethings she would be doing with our friend group. It got to the point that I was crying in the middle of lunch and no one realized it. That day i decided not to go to lunch with them anymore and our lunch group split up. We are civil with one another now and I am alot happier she had done alot of things to me that I was able to put aside in the past; such as kissing the first guy I had liked after getting out of a long relationship even though she had a boyfriend. Thatlast fight for me was the last straw. Now thatthestorm has calmed down andthe yearhas ended we were able to look back at the good times and sign eachother's year books and move on we also appologized for the fight and all that had happened. Even though it wasn't in person It's on paper and those words we can't go back and change. After all that had happened there was no going back. We all lost friends in that fight. I personally lost two. Lost more friends than she acctually knows. But no one won in that fight we all lost and eveyone was hurt. To eachother we are nothing more than memories. Memories that helped us grow were there for eachother when someone needed a friend to lean on. A crying shoulder or someone to catch us when we fall. Our lives were forever changed by one another even if all we became to eachother were somebody that we used to know. I am glad that I had known all the people I had met in my life. Including the people who have hurt me. "Best friends ex-friends until the end.Thanks For the memories even if they weren't so great."

But I have to say most of them truely were.

But anyway I just want to make sure that you know I’m a very happy person. Everything that happens to us tend to work out in the end even if it seems like everything just blew up in our faces. We are here, Life sucks but it goes on. as soon as we realize that we can truly start our lives and look forward to living it to the fullest. I know I'm ready to start mine. "One must imagine Sisyphus happy." I know that I do.