Dear Body......


Why is it the parts I want to grow, you won't let it. For instance, hair, I've been wanting you to grow out for several months now, yet I feel like you barely have grown out. Legs, as I recall, when I was 13, I expected you to grow at least three more inches, I hated being the shortest girl in my grade. Butt, what happened? I heard exercising your body, particularly legs, you would grow. I spent junior year in all fitness classes, from swimming to weightlifting, working my legs and you still did not grow. I did heavy lifting squats and cleans, cardio, intense conditioning in swim, yet you still look the same. But body, why are the parts I don't want to grow, you let it. Thighs, years ago, you were thin, there was a gap between you two. Then middle school came and the gap disappeared and when I sit down, the both of you explode to the size of Russia combined. Stomach, I have nothing to blame you for, I'll admit, there are moments when you cooperate some days. Skin, you are my worst enemy since sixth grade and now, you will possibly be my worst enemy throughout my adult life. I have spent years trying to figure out what makes you breakout. Is it what I eat? There is a saying, “ You are what you eat”, is it really true? I eat sweets, too much of it some days. Fattening food like chips and fries are my weakness. Who isn't weakened by it? I changed facial products every year, only to discover what what burns and dries my face. I never wore makeup until senior year, so when you decide to give me an extremely large and red bump on my face, on a place where it's very noticeable, like my forehead, I had endure in paranoia and embarrassment from other students seeing and possibly internally laughing at my face.

Skin, is it a genetics that makes you hate me for two weeks every month? My dad tells me it's genetics, I got it from my mom. My mom is 34 years old, and she still struggles with acne. Am I going to be like that when I'm older? You'll still act against my wishes on having clear skin? These days, cosmetic industries have made makeup for different types of skin conditions. All of which confuses me on which to pick and use, since there are so many that treat different problems, I tend to believe I have all of those problems. Sometimes I hardly believe they even work. For instance, I have been using beauty balm, also known as BB cream. BB cream has almost ten functions to it; corrects skin color, protects you from the sun because it has SPF, acts like a foundation but is less heavy, helps breakouts and many more that I do not remember. It did not correct my skin color, I have areas that are lighter or darker than the rest of my face. It also did not help my weekly breakouts. I'm afraid to use other skin products fearing they won't work and wasting my money, these days, makeup is very expensive. I try to watch what I eat, a clean body shows through your skin, yet unhealthy food is much more tempting than healthy. Picking at it will only scar, I learn through the hard way. Seeing a doctor requires me to ask my parents which they will eventually forget and ignore. So skin, possibilities of you clearing up fully is very rare. Makeup might hide you if I know how to chose the right ones. Cleansers, toners, moisturizers, will only make you look clean and soft. Doctors will be in the future, hopefully in a year. But from then on, all I have is wishes and hope that you will clear up.