I am okay with this.

My soul has fallen through the sifter. The clumps of regret and sorrow have been caught up above, and the calm white powder remains, sweeping about with each slow, soft breath. My shoulders have relaxed from their tense position, letting the weight of the world slide away to the grass under the shade of the trees. My palms hang open with no trembling hands to hold, and I can stretch my fingers apart to reveal the spaces where I know someone else’s will fit perfectly. My feet feel heavy but there is no need to move them. My heart has sunk to my toes only to be inflated and let go until it floated onto my tongue. My words are painted and free, flowing like a song being played over a stream, blowing with the wind.

I’m sitting now, hands folded neatly in my lap. You might walk by, but you’re hurrying along, glancing at their indispensable watch as it ticks along, smirking at you through your own reflection. The seconds escape from you, fleeing like deer in a storm until you are sure that deer have long since died out. And at other times, they fly by with all the speed of a river of slugs, tumbling and falling along, never knowing where the path is leading. Your watch lies to you. Never are two minutes quite the same length. Each second is unpredictable. You cannot trust time itself. Perhaps if you never glance away from that watch, if you worship the clock, it will never speed up on you…

In my mind, I am still walking. But in there, there are no weights holding me down, no cords pulling me back. There is only me and my rhythmic feet and my swinging arms. There is only the sound of silence, filling your ears just past the point where they tingle but not to the point that they burst. There is no one to support and there is no one to feel sorry for. There are no toes to step on and no cold hands of strangers to brush up against. There are only leaves beneath my feet and trees over my head. There are only birds in my hands and plenty left in the bush. There is only the warmth of the world and all of its smiles. No one rushes by, no one screams or yells or tells me that I’m inadequate. There is only peace.

I am okay with this.