Sports are a huge part of my life; most of the time they bring me enjoyment and give me a family that I would never exchange for anything. Towards the end of two disappointing soccer seasons during my ninth and tenth grade years, a new sport season started up: lacrosse. I started playing lacrosse just for fun the previous summer and decided I would continue playing. While soccer had caused me to dislike sports and coaches, lacrosse made me happy. It made me feel something that I had never felt before: confidence. The best part was that I actually began picking it up quickly. I was becoming rather good at it, and near the end of the spring season and the beginning of the summer season I was promoted to team captain. I began to love lacrosse, my teammates, and my coaches. I picked up team-building and motivational skills that I am complimented on today and changed the way I viewed sports. With this newfound urge to get better at this sport, I was encouraged to get a personal trainer. I worked extremely hard to reach my goal of improving. I ended up having lacrosse three times a week and training four times a week during the summer; this added up to more than 12 hours a week of workouts. I began to see that this hard work was paying off, causing my speed, agility, and skill to advance.

Well as you may have heard all good things come to an end…

Towards the end of my sophomore year I found the courage to finally out for a summer tournament team with four of my friends. It began at the end of April and I had to partake in a three and half hour tryout. Those three hours were some of the hardest hours I have ever experienced. I had to wait almost a week before I knew the results of if I made it or not. It was very nerve racking but my coach finally called me with the news. I was expecting the worst until he told me that I had made one of the two teams I tried out for. I was so excited I kind of forgot about the fact that there was a Junior Varsity and a Varsity team I would have to worry about.
Practice started very soon after I was given the news. It was quite a culture shock being on a lacrosse team and not being one of the best players out there compared to my usual position. For the first couple of weeks we were analyzed and judged for our skills, abilities, and endurance. Throughout this time period I told myself over and over that I sucked compared to the other girls and that I had zero chance of making the Varsity team. One day when it seemed as if all hope was lost, I was called over to one of the “special groups” and I was specifically analyzed. And after that one day I stayed in the group and later I was told that I was on the Varsity team. The Varsity team! Out of all the girls there I was not the best and this news made me literally the happiest person in the world; the coaches saw something in me and that was very exciting. One of my friends and I were the only people from the Henry County area that were on this Varsity team. It was such an exciting honor that I was in bliss for about two weeks…

Those two weeks stretched on until the first tournament was scheduled. I showed up to the tourney thrilled and very nervous; my team was scheduled to play the very first game of the tourney, and my stomach was in knots. Well the first game began and I didn’t start; this didn’t upset me too bad until I realized I wasn’t going to be played very much at all. I was put in for five minutes and quickly taken out before I could get into my game mode. So we ended the first game with a loss and with me only playing about 10 minutes out of a total of 50 minutes. This was not a good way to start off the day. I would love to say it got better but it didn’t… Throughout the entire tourney I got about 30 minutes playing time out of about 200 minutes. And I would love to say that all of the other tourneys were much better and that I played a lot more than the first one and that I didn’t cry one bit. But this would be a lie. Throughout the whole season I played about 10% of the entire allotted playing time given. I cried about 30% of the time. I really tried to stay tough and keep my head up so I began to hide my tears behind a pair of sunglasses.

I spent a lot of time telling myself I obviously truly sucked at lacrosse since I was never given playing time. Although I tried to maintain a halfhearted mindset that I was going to quit the team, I knew I wouldn’t be able to because that’s just not who I am. I knew that giving up was never really an option… Throughout the season my parents and friends encouraged me to do what I thought was best. I decided that I had not quit on anything before, so why would I want to start then? So I stayed with the team, and unfortunately remained perturbed throughout most of the season. However, I look back now and can admit I had fun here and there: I met some pretty cool girls, formed new friendships with some great people, and acquired skills never offered to me before.

So it got to the end of June and we were at our 4th tournament and I hadn’t played a single minute of the entire thing. Well just as I was about to sit another game the coach of the Junior Varsity team came running over to me and said, “Would you like to play with our team for the last game?” and I quickly responded in almost a shout, “YES”. So I looked back at my team and said “ADIOS, good luck you guys” and ran to the other team’s field. I played the entire game and I did absolutely amazing. The whole crowd was cheering for me (the parents that knew me and my name) and the team was so happy to have me there. It was one of the best times I had experienced the entire summer and I was in such bliss that I didn’t know what to do with myself. We lost but it was a very close score. They had played the same team before and had lost very badly to them; so I personally felt like I had made a difference in the teams overall standings. The best thing was that I was appreciated for my abilities and all the parents (even parents I didn’t know) came up to me and said that I did great. I began to feel confident again.

The best outcome that came from this was not only that I felt like myself again but I began to give myself the self-respect I deserved. This self-respect and self-confidence got me more playing time on my Varsity team and got me more playing time in the last tournament. Although I may have not started the season necessarily pleased, I was definitely happy with the ending.

I think the best thing that I learned during this situation was the idea that you should keep moving forward no matter what happens. Although I felt as if I had lost all hope in sports, I kept a healthy mindset after lacrosse season started and have maintained that mindset up until this day. Although I was put into an awfully unpleasant situation, one sport had the ability to cause a turnaround in my life. Disappointment generated the motivation to progress towards something new. This motivation gave me the confidence to continue improving.