I stared at the red bag lying between me and her. A modern day maginot line between the girl I wanted and the stammering, bumbling, imbecile who was futily attempting to woo her.

“Do you mind? Can you not see we’re trying to have a moment?” I asked. Who is this little punk getting in the way of my big chance? Some skinny; teen fiction novel reading weirdo who clearly did not understand his place in the world. I get girls, and he stands off awkwardly in the corner at parties complaining to his friends. I suppose he was just caught up in actually having a girl’s attention for once, because he was getting unnecessarily close to her personal space. Then, she did something really weird. She stepped closer to him, leaned in ever so slightly, but her lip, and tucked her hair behind her ear. She was practically begging no, screaming for him to kiss her. Christ, I was even starting to root for the little guy. Yeah he was stealing my moment, but everyone is supposed to get one, right?

“Kiss her you f****** idiot!” I whispered in his ear. Doing my best to not scream it at the top of my lungs.

“Just stop, okay? She’s just a friend. That’s all I think of her as”.

“F****** hell, I’m forced to spend every waking moment of my life with you, and you really think I can’t see you staring at her ass when she walks away?”

He looked down awkwardly, trying to find some clever line that would never come. This was depressing to watch, like a car accident in slow motion.

“Sooooooo, I should really be heading home” she said hesitantly. Trying her best to give him a little nudge to act.

“Oh...alright then” He started to lean in slowly, hesitantly, like testing bath water before sticking a whole foot in. It’s about time, I thought. Honestly, I didn’t think he had it in him.

He got right up next to her and tenderly...gave her a hug. I wasn’t the only one who was shocked.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” she said pulling away from the hug. As she turned to walk away I could practically taste her frustration in the air.
“God you’re lame” I blurted out, exasperated.

“Can you just stop? I’m tired of you always talking down to me.”

“Am I supposed to give a s***?”

“You’re my conscious a**hole! You’re supposed to be looking out for me and giving me a hand in tough situations.”

“Maybe if you actually did what I said once in a while you would realize I’m trying”

“Lets just go home”

“You’re a scaredy cat”

“...I know”