My mom plays both roles.

I remember when I was little, I didn't understand much. I just knew mommy and daddy had problems. Big ones. The ones that would make me run into my room and hide under the covers until the screaming stopped. Mom said the problems at home were part of the reason why I'd started wetting the bed. Not even a counselor helped. I hated going into that office. I felt as if the short brown-haired lady saw right through me when I played with the play-doh and drew on the chalkboard and I hated when she simply nodded and scriubbled on her notepad. One day we just left.

It took me two years to have the courage to finally contact my dad again. My mom had been taking care of us as well as she could. We didn't have much, but we had what we needed. We went to school, had food in our fridge and got new clothes each season. It was when we met our step-dad, that I realized the thing I wanted more back then was my mom and dad back together. But that was impossible, seeing we were hundreds of thousands of miles away. I learned to move on after five long years to accept my mother and a new man. He was like the dad I never had.

Last Thanksgiving, he made a mistake. We left again. I never want to feel that again. My entire world changed in less than a week, and all I felt was disappointment, anger and most of all, hurt. I cried for days and I still do. Everyday I ask myself of why he did what he did and why he chose to leave a family and everything he built with my mom. I just want answers.

Everyday I come home to my mom, brother and two dogs. We live in a small apartment and she manages to pay the rent, bills and food each month all on her own. My mom works every day and comes home each night to see me and my brother. My mom is my hero. She's kept her head held high for all those who chose to talk about her and she's given me and my brother everything we need. I've realized no matter who else has helped my mother along the way, its always been her that has taught us the greater lessons. My mother has kept up with her responsibilites on her own and has always been independent. I give her the most credit in that. It's hard raising two teenage kids, I know me and my brother and her major headache. My brother is an athlete. He spends the school year involved in football, wrestling and track. My mother makes sure he's there at every practice, keeps him on his toes about grades and she's there at every game and meet. She rushes through work just to take him to practice on time and then pick him up at night. My brother and mother have a closer relationship than she and I do but that doesn't stop my mom from being there for me. She encourages me each day to learn and do my best. We laugh together and have 'twin' moments. We argue and scream at each other but at the end of the day, she's all I have and all I need. She's taken me to therapists and appointments when I have depression or need a doctor. She's stood in the back ground as I take my first steps in everything, and even when i fail, she tells me to keep my head up and try again.

I want to be like my mom when I grow up. I've learned to value her more than ever now. It's hard to picture my mom with someone new, and I know that will take a while to happen. I want more than anything for her to find the right man t make her happy and make her proud. My mom has been sick for years. Every morning before I leave for school she tells me to have a good day and I ask God to let her come back home. I am so scared of loosing her, she's my mother and father all in one. I give her major credit for everything she's done and how hard she works. My mother is my rock and my motivation. I never talk much about my dad. I still talk to him. He's the man that helped give me life and I love him. But its understood my mother is the one I should be with and she's given me everything I have. She plays both roles, and she does it just fine on her own.