When I was a few months old, I was baptized. At eight I had my first communion. At fourteen I made my confirmation and was initiated as a member of my church. About every three weeks I attend church to please my parents but I had never thought about the possibility that they were wrong. The more I think about it the more uncertain I become. I'm in some sort of limbo between religion and atheism or belief and realism; I'm not quite sure which. What I do know is how I feel right now, what I believe in this moment. I believe in the power of hope. I believe that prayer and rain dances and rituals can lift souls, mend hearts, and guide souls. I believe that hope is a good thing and even if our hopes get crushed every once and a while it was better to have hoped in the first place. I believe in miracles. I believe that some things can't be explained and that we should let nature take its path instead of trying to nail everything down. I believe in death. I believe in it the same way I believe in love. Both, so different, are an adventure. You never truly know what will happen until you jump in with both feet. I believe in the idea of religion. If it makes people moral and honest, humble, charitable, what would be so bad about it? Religion gives people something to look up to, people who don't have anyone else in their lives. I don't believe that if you don't go to church God will damn you. I don't believe that homosexuality, greediness, dishonesty, or atheism will forfeit your ticket into the pearly gates. I don't think this God I've been hearing of would exile the people he created for trying to deal with the world he created as well. I believe that forgiveness, selflessness, honesty, and empathy are the best cure for guilt and anger and jealously. I believe that this world is hard and strange at times but I don't believe that completing your visit early will make you suffer. I don't even think worshipping the devil would damn you because God would see you needed a bit of extra help. I don't believe in the West Boro Baptist Church or the idea that God punishes us for allowing homosexuality and abortions by killing our soldiers. I believe people do this on their own free will. I think there are some of us who are too religious and some of us who aren't religious enough. I think we need to stop depending on God but instead depend on ourselves because even if there were a book, a following, every human being on this Earth telling me to jump blindly over a cliff because I would be perfectly fine afterwards I still don't think I would do it. To base your life completely around one idea, that you will be saved, isn't a sturdy belief at all. You shouldn't be a good person for God or to be saved. We should try to be good human beings because it's the right thing to do. Saved or not saved, it isn't a free pass to do whatever you want. If God sees that you were a good person and that you lived a respectful, admirable life outside his domain don't you think he would save you too? On the other hand, say there is no God; you still lived a good life because it was the right thing to do. We're all just living on this Earth trying to survive in the ways we were taught; the ways we know how. None of us are entitled to more than others, none of us should be damned or praised for our status, and none of us should be any more likely to get into Heaven if we all live good lives because religion isn't a membership card you can flash to get in. Maybe it's all oblivion after this. Maybe we're reborn, maybe we float, maybe we go to Heaven, and maybe we die one thousand deaths until we finally get to something. Maybe it will be all we're ever dreamed of or maybe we all burn in Hell anyways. All we have is now. All I know is that I'm a person trying to live a good life. All I know is that when I was a few months old I was baptized. At eight I had my first communion. At fourteen I made my confirmation and was initiated as a member of my church. About every three weeks I attend to please my parents but I had never really thought about the possibility that they were wrong. The more I think about it the more uncertain I become.