It’s such a terrifying feeling to doubt the truth. It’s even worse when you realize that your hopes are based on the edge of a lie. What would happen if what I fear the most is actually happening, I need to take some space, to straighten out myself. I need to learn how not to trust anyone but me…but still! I can’t believe it! Was I just the temporary girlfriend he spent some time with before going back to his ex? Is she the one he can’t live without? Am I the helpful friend he comes to when he need support? Am I the fool of the story? Does he love her? That’s it! Does he have feelings for her though all what happened? Oh my GOSH! What if I’m just worried for nothing? But it can’t be! Not after what she told me. He is giving her hope. There was a time she couldn’t speak to him, a time, he didn’t want to speak to HER!. Today they are just as close as before. Today I’m pushed aside, witnessing my biggest nightmare becoming reality.
He said it’s done. He said he didn’t know the meaning of love when with her. Does he know it now? Does he see in her what he didn’t see before?  What he didn’t see in ME! So what? What if it’s all true? What if they are in their way back together? I need to face it. I MUST face it! I deserve much more than this. I deserve more than I broken heart and dry tears on my pillow. I deserve more than a sheet of paper and a pen to release my pain and anger.
I made up my mind. Whether my fears are justified on not I’m moving over him. Taking space. I must convince myself that I deserve better because it is true! I have many other things to do than waiting for someone who will never show up, or hoping for a destiny that will never happen.
I’m over him, over her. I’m beyond everything and everyone. Actually: I’M WORTH MORE AND I DESERVE BETTER.