"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage."
Psalm 84:5 (NIV)

It's a phrase said often and understood little: "My strength is in the Lord." It can come in a lot of different forms, and it does. You'll find its variants in songs, sermons, devotionals, and passing conversations of two struggling Christians. "Yeah, but you know, my strength is from God; couldn't do this alone." But I think it's one of many phrases in the Christian religion that has been said so much that it has lost its meaning.

My best friend in the world sent that verse to me randomly on January 2nd of the new year. He and his family, which includes my girlfriend, Sarah, had left our house that day after spending New Year's Day in Virginia with my family. I could get into how amazing that was, but I think it's self explanatory. He sent me this verse, I believe, because God knew I needed it. It was a rough day for me. I always hate saying goodbye to Sarah and the realization that I was going back into "real life" (viz. college) had hit. But it went deeper than just reminding me that whatever actually does come my way is a speed bump on God's highway. It changed how I look at almost everything I do now.

On January 19th of the new year, I sat down to do my daily devotional, which right now consists of reading through the book of Acts and doing Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. MUfHH (I love short-hand) hit me as hard as Psalm 84:5 hit me. It started out with a gentle command for Christians: "...be still and listen." And that is so hard.

I love listening to myself talk. I like to think that I'm pretty eloquent with the spoken word and as an English major, I genuinely enjoy using words and deeply enjoy using them to elicit some kind of emotional response from people. A lot of times, this can be good. It's helped me build some very solid relationships the many times I've moved states/schools. At the same time, I often find my foot in my mouth and that's not limited to my interactions with other people; it's happened with God. Every once in a while it's smart to shut up. Shut up and listen to what God is saying. I could have stopped reading that day's devotional there and gotten plenty spiritual food for the day. I'm so glad I didn't.

There are two more sentences in that day's devotion that got me good. They are: "[Listen] to good advice when it is dark instead of waiting for God to send the light. [...] Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not displeasure." Oh man. This is encouraging, I think, to everyone venturing out on the Christian walk. Which brings me to part two of Psalm 84:5. "...whose hearts are set on the pilgrimage." There's one common theme across literature (and I include the Bible in literature) when talking about pilgrimages or journeys: hardships. Some succeed, some fail, some are irrelevant, some we're still learning from today, but all were hard. I've found myself in a time of my faith that God is remaining mostly silent. For a long time I saw that as pretty discouraging. Most things I heard growing up in church was that a good Christian can hear God's voice. Well I can't right now. So does that mean I've let my faith fall and now I'm failing as a Christian? No. No, it absolutely does not. Because if we remember, our strength is from God, whether He's outright saying it to you or not.

When I was in first grade, I forged my dad's signature on homework because I forgot to ask for it the previous night. Of course at that age, I thought it looked legit and I totally stuck to my lie. Clearly, my teacher (Mr. Scott, whom I'll never forget) knew it was a lie. He gave me an opportunity to correct myself and come clean. But I stuck to it! I was almost offended that he didn't believe my lie! Sadly, this is a trait that still plagues me, but maybe we'll tackle that later. Anyways, since I didn't come clean, he called my parents in. Oh. Well that turns the heat up a little bit. So my dad came into school and it took me all of two seconds to break down crying. I apologized to Mr. Scott, he forgave me, and I left with my dad. On the ride home in his Ford lime green pick-up truck, not a word was said. He just drove. A five minute drive felt like a trip to California. When we got home, he just got out and walked inside. The rest of the day, he never said another word about it. The day went on as normal and for the first time in my memory, I was wishing for a punishment. Had I done something so wrong that my dad wouldn't even dignify my wrongdoing with a response? I haven't lied to a teacher about a homework assignment since and I never will. That time of silence, while it certainly did not feel pleasing, was not of displeasure but of discipline. To this day, he and I haven't talked about it, and I'll never forget it. It's been brought up by my mom in a joking manner, but my dad remains silent on the issue.

What happens when we let God's silence shape us silently?

The devotional ends on an encouraging note. "Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God." The reason this quote stood out to me is because Chambers specifically pointed out saints as people who may try to perturb me (or us, whichever). Don't ever let anyone tell you that you need to fix your spiritual life because you can't hear God. Instead, be silent. Listen. Allow God to use His perfect silence to shape you until one day you will hear again His beautiful and still voice. And what a welcome return it will be. If you allow your strength to be in God and you take the pilgrimage He has set forth for you, no one, not even someone as profound as Reverend Billy Graham, stands a chance of knocking you off course.