I had never truly believed that depression was a real thing or illness? I had always thought that people just had their bad days every now and then and soon got over it. Depression seemed like it was what we led ourselves to believe was taking place in our lives when we couldn’t handle any more on top of our load. I had never seen it or experienced it myself, but watched plenty of videos in health class. Of course those led me to the stereotypical depression; teens hiding in their rooms, being pulled out of school for months, and completely isolating themselves from everything they once knew. For this reason depression was serious, but unlikely in my range of acquaintances and peers. There were times I thought I was experiencing depression, I didn’t want to do anything and had no motivation for life, but in reality everything had been hitting me at once between school, sports, and home life. I was simply worn out. This was no depression indeed. It wasn’t until about a week ago that I realized that depression had been taking place around me and I stood there completely clueless. Last week while walking the track with a girl that I had become especially close with this year, we had landed on the conversation of drugs. We spoke about how alcohol would soon be consumed by everyone, yet we couldn’t understand why so many people are fathomed with the affects of it. Alcohol wouldn’t be a big deal in a couple of years, almost everyone will have consumed it by then. At least this is what I had imagined, but aside to herself, my friend said that she probably wouldn’t be consuming alcohol. Understanding that she wasn’t much of a party person, but more of a relaxed one I didn’t think much of this. I only asked for her reasoning when she explained that she had been put on a medication. She reasoned that she could possibly be on this medication for life. My first reaction was to be concerned, yet I realized that I had to take in account for her feelings if I was to question what the medication was for. She told me the medication was for depression. I gave my apology and never brought it up again and swore to myself that I wouldn’t with any other person either. As days went by leading up to today, I began to take in all the signs of depression. This friend of mine wasn’t around much, she was always to herself and quiet. Often times last year I found myself and a few other friends at her house for Just Dance parties with chinese food and possibly a couple kiss98.5 calls. It was always a good time to relax, batlle, chow down, and enjoy the people around you. I never noticed the subtle disappearance of these nights, everyone became extremely busy with junior year and all plans became on the spot. We were all always so tired, running around with schoolwork, field hockey, art programs, and family that plans were only made for big events that we would all attend like homecoming. This friend of mine wasn’t completely interested in homecoming and the cheering and dancing, she came to a dance last year and felt uncomfortable. In fact she left early out of concern for herself. (not dirty dancing uncomfortable) I never thought anything of it, just a personal preference. She did that with a lot of things; when we had four snow-days in a row this year, a group of my friends and I decided to go sledding at Saratoga hill (of course this wouldn’t last long, there were a ton of kids and it was freezing), to which my friend stood home simply because she didn’t want to come. There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth, but it was odd to hear someone tell you directly that they weren’t interested. To be honest, none of us were that interested and we didn’t stay all that long, it was just something to do to get out of the house. I had always admired her for this, speaking her mind carelessly when it came to the things she didn’t want to do. But when I think about it now, it all comes together and I try to understand her positioning. Maybe she didn’t like sledding, or was it that she wanted to be alone? To think it may have started way back then and I didn’t even notice or think anything of it. It’s possible that being hidden was her way of showing her position, the way she excluded herself from things. I see her daily, we have the bulk of our classes together and are constantly making jokes and laughing histairically. It never even crossed my mind that something was up. That’s just the thing; is something up? The only time I had paused to think about it before this week was when she hadn’t replied to a text. It wasn’t an important text, just a school question, but in that case it was probable that she would have a response. This wasn’t the strange part, it was when I realized I was not the only one that this had happened to lately. Still curious to her response as to whether she would be interested in staying after for extra help with me after seeing her a period before with no talk of it, I asked another friend if something was wrong with her phone or anything at all. My other friend who is even closer to her said she hadn’t gotten a response in a while either. She could’ve been busy, but it wasn’t like she never had her phone on her, I saw it everyday in school. Ever since that walk on the track, everything has been coming in full circle. I can begin to understand the little things she does and maybe why she stays away. There could be other reasons, yet I can only attach them to this sole one. There’s no way of telling when it comes down to it. I’m not ready to bring it up to her and wouldn’t dare bring it up to anyone else. The only thing to do in this case is surround her with the same friend characteristics that we’ve had and be understanding of her choices. The only way to confront her directly would be to make sure she is okay and plan things that she enjoys doing. It’s safe to say you never know those you’re closest to until you can see what’s happening behind closed doors.