Our actions do affect other people, so we need to think about the consequences of the decisions we make before we act. When suicidal people say, “I’m alone in this world, and it would be better if I just ended it” that’s not true. Our lives are so intertwined with one another that we can’t help but be affected by each other’s decisions. That may sound simple in the face of such a tragic situation but truthfully those left behind to deal with suicide often question, wonder and ask “why were they not thinking about what would happen to us, the people that surround them?” Recently one of the greatest actors of all time committed suicide and it affected me. Even though I never met this genius, I did grow up watching his movies such as Mrs. Doubtfire and Alladin and I loved his zany delivery, compassionate and relatable characters. I kept asking why? He’s so successful, beloved, and wealthy. Why would he leave us knowing he was so loved?

One of my favorite quotes is, “Anyone can give up, it is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” For a person that is bullied, abused, maybe even left alone in this world, to hold their head up high and carry on exhibits great inner strength and personal resolve. Proving to yourself and showing others that you do indeed get knocked down but that you get up again not only affects your own destiny but is a testimony to others of what positive thinking and determination can accomplish. This is how I live my life but I have learned that for others this may be impossible.

     I used to think people that commit suicide are extremely selfish because so many people are affected by their personal decision. One time, while trying desperately to get to the airport to catch a flight to see my father in Arizona, I was faced with such a scenario. The drive to the airport typically takes twenty minutes but it turned into two hours of panic. A person who was contemplating jumping off the bridge had halted traffic coming onto and off of the island. Traffic was backed up all the way to the 163N and then to the Imperial Beach exits to the South. I had to drive a different route than usual that took forever. Upon arriving at the airport, I had fifteen minutes before my flight was to take off! I was so stressed out and angry that this one person could affect hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. I kept thinking of situations where someone’s life could be lost because of a suicide. Imagine if a person got in a very bad accident and had to get over the bridge to the hospital. Coronado hospital doesn’t take people that just got in a car wreck and are badly hurt. They send them to the hospital in Hillcrest. If a child commits suicide imagine the pain that brings to their parents and sibilings. The person that finds the body well be traumatized for the rest of their life’s. The memory will haunt them day and night and it will keep replaying in their minds.

      My older sister was in a horrible car accident a year ago on Thanksgiving day. Afterwards, she experienced severe depression due to the head trauma and medications and at one point, when she saw her world collapsing around her because of her injuries and her pain, she tried to take her life. She didn’t succeed thankfully and realized after the family held an intervention that she did indeed have a serious problem and needed to seek medical help for it. She is thriving today and we are all so grateful that she is still with us. This experience helped me to better understand that although I still see suicide as selfish in how it affects others, I understand that sometimes people are stuck in a moment of panic, severe depression or have mental illness.