True happiness feels far from normal. I Don’t remember what it even feels like, or how I get there. I feel guilty that I feel this way, because I have amazing parents and friends who are willing to do anything for me, yet I still feel angry and worthless. I feel like anything I do is going to backfire, I am sensitive to others feelings and my own. I feel as if nothing goes my way and it makes me feel more guilty when I realize it does. So many people have it harder yet I feel like my life is over, and I can make no contributions to the world ahead of me. There is a huge rock being jabbed over and over on my chest, and all I want to do is crush it into little pieces, without hurting anyone along the way. I feel tired, sad, angry, and I am taking it out not only on myself but on the people I love the most. I feel as if I am just being sensitive, and dramatic, and so many others have it harder. This is all true. Which is the worst part of it all. All I want now is to lift this cloud above my head and change it into something good, something worth it, something that will make me feel happy again. Things that once made me so happy are shadowed by my feelings, and are being manipulated into things that I feel like I can’t handle anymore. GUILT, SADNESS, ANGER, WORTHLESS, HAPPINESS, MANIPULATIVE, WEIGHT, DEATH.

Depression.