When I awoke, I had no idea what was going on. I knew I was awake, but I couldn’t quite get myself up on my own.  As soon as I got up, I could feel the warm liquid sensation of blood fill up my mouth, I started to see little dots moving all around me like shooting stars and a sharp pain came rushing into me like I had just been stabbed by a hot knife. I heard the crowd and my coaches yelling, “Oh my god, Nick!” and I could just feel the eyes of thousands of people staring at me as they had noticed what had just occurred to me. At that moment, I knew that my life as I knew it would change forever.

It was September 4th, 2016 at Wilson Field. The electricity in the stadium was tremendous, there were people sitting on the rooftops from across the street to observe the highly anticipated game. I can hear the murmurs and chants from the crowd as I jog my way onto the field to run the next play. As I break from the huddle, my mind blocks everything out making it seem like the stadium is completely quiet.  The nerves were starting to get to me, I suddenly felt a cold chill run down my back, because I knew that it was finally time to get the highly anticipated play underway. As the ball is snapped to me, I panicked. I made the wrong decision by faking the handoff and taking the ball on my own. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as I made it, and right as I pull the ball away I took the hardest hit I have ever received right underneath the facemask. I blackout. The ball flies out of my hand as if it were an ice cube.  How could I have made this mistake?

Two minutes later I awaken. I lay face up not knowing what just happened and I start to take my walk of shame to the sideline, but I start to notice something very unusual. I feel a warm liquid sensation and my mouth is overflowing and flooding with blood and my jaw was going in the complete opposite direction.  I blackout again.
The next morning I awake in a hospital bed and my mom says to me, “It’s ok sweetie, they had to give you an emergency jaw surgery. You’re gonna be alright, I promise”.  At that point I was so tired, I tried to yawn, but for some reason my mouth wasn’t able to open. At first, I think my jaw is stuck, but then I think that the surgery didn’t work. Why couldn’t I open my jaw? Then I feel that warm liquid sensation in my mouth again that haunts me to this day. I grab a mirror and smiled. At that moment, my stomach instantly tightened like a knot, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had metal wires strapped around each bloody tooth going horizontally and vertically, my gums were slashed like tires, and I couldn’t open my mouth. Instantly I start to cry, I couldn’t bear the way I would be treated at school with the judgmental looks, jokes, laughing, and imitations. My mom and dad tried to comfort me, but it was no use. I knew I had to deal with the most embarrassing 5 weeks of my life.

School was just as I expected. I was always in pain with the taste of my warm blood combined with my tears filling my mouth which led to me being called out and picked on. My friends constantly made jokes about me not being able to talk, they ate food in front of me and said, “Oh Nick don’t you wish you could have this?”, and they never tried to comfort me. My friends were not the only ones who took consistent stabs at me. My family, teachers, coaches, and even people I didn’t know decided they would join in on my embarrassment. That wasn’t even the worst of it. Everyday I had to drink my food through a straw, yes I said drink. I had to blend up foods like pasta, pizza, and chicken and sadly drink them. Everywhere I went my dignity and self esteem was crushed. I could no longer live my life the way I wanted it to be. I cried myself to sleep every night for five weeks and wept to God,

“Why me? What did I do wrong? Nobody deserves what I am going through, nobody should ever receive this much embarrassment as I have. My heart feels like it has been stabbed a thousand times and my life is crumbling before my eyes. Why couldn’t I have just handed that ball off like I was supposed to?”

The decision to take the ball myself and the embarrassment that came with it are actions that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. To this day, I am haunted by the taste of the warm blood as it filled up my mouth and the shooting pain in my jaw as it broke in two spots.

Now that it is over, I have become a stronger person. I have learned what it takes to truly be a good person and respect other people and their problems. I am more humble than ever. Although I have never been more humiliated and put down in my life, I use this as motivation and think of it as a turning point in my life. I will never forget the day of September 4, 2016 that changed my life forever.