The pain and agony of defeat is like none else. It hurts for days, weeks, months, and maybe even years. It creates a void in hearts and minds that something is missing. It creates sadness. One positive thing it creates is motivation. Many things motivate us in this world. Family, friends, tragic events, illness, love, hate etc. drive each one of us in our lives. If we didn't have these driving forces in our lives, where would we be?

March 11, 2017; Smithsvile, North Dakota, Smith's Civic Center. With 2:24 remaining in the game and the score being 51-37 reality is starting to set in. The seniors have ran out of gas. The entire game has been a struggle. Our shots aren't falling, we aren't playing good defense, and our faith and will to win is fading. The seniors played their hardest, but I can see the helplessness in their eyes. In the final minute, the seniors say goodbye to the court for the final time in the high school careers. The final buzzer sounds and us, The Smithsville Central Rams have lost the State A title. Tears fill the eyes of our team. The defeat is suffocating our hearts and the thought of us failing to win hurts. While this season was nowhere near a failure, it certainly feels like it. The memories made and experiences we have I would not trade for anything. After the game I promised myself, and my teammates returning next year we would never feel like this again. We will be back.

Currently I am living with that reality. I have regrets. I feel as if I could have played a litter harder or guarded #32 a little tighter. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about that game. Thankfully, I have been blessed enough in my life that I have never felt depression, but the three days following that loss, I felt something darn close. I was already missing basketball, but now the only thing I can do is wait. Wait and keep improving.

I have always been a competitive kid. I like to win, that is for sure. But I have never had the want to make sure I win. I haven't put in the work. After this game I have wanted nothing more than to win. I can see the difference in myself already at open gyms. I hate losing even at a little open gym where a game means nothing. My main motivation and goal is not only to win a state title next year and the year after that, but to never feel like I felt again. To never have the sadness and disappointment of losing a game like that. People may say it is just a sport, and they are not wrong, but to me and my team it is much more. Now it is a revenge tour.

I can already imagine it. Under the bright lights at North Dakota Field House in  Acher, ND with all of my brothers. Playing on Saturday night for a that state title. I can also imagine all the grind it will take to get there. Every hard practice, every tough conditioning, every workout and I can not wait. Needless to say, I can not wait for the grind, the revenge, and the glory. But in the end all the glory we will receive goes to the man upstairs.