“Oh Jesus Christ, is your arm okay?”

That was the moment my eyes gradually opened and I realized what had happened – my arm was no longer facing the right direction. It was the end of August, on a 90 degree day with the sun blinding, yet pleasant at the same time. The view from the scorching turf field was peaceful, silent, but ominous like the calm before a storm.

Even when I fell and saw the state of my arm, I had no care about my safety or the pain that was billowing inside of me. All I could think was: I just blew it! This was the year I was finally going to make varsity soccer. What I wanted to do, most of all, was get back up and continue playing defense. As I got up, my arm wouldn’t function. The bone was protruding out of my skin with my wrist clearly snapped the other way. This was the beginning of the end of my soccer career and even the use of my arm. I didn’t know then how this event would change my future and me as a person.

The game was simply a scrimmage against Saugus High, but it was my chance to prove I could play on the varsity team. In the first half, I was playing with all my heart. From slide tackling to heading balls, I was lights out. Before halftime, the score was 4-0 Wakefield. Score, however,  didn’t matter to me. All I wanted to do was play like my life was on the line. I started the second half just like the first, but something was off. I had a feeling that something was about to go very wrong. A voice told me to take it easy, but my ego wouldn’t let me stop playing. I had to prove myself!

I made it roughly 10 minutes into the second half before disaster struck. I threw the ball in to one of my teammates;  it was a bit off but got the job done. The star player from Saugus stripped the ball and I began my full sprint. My speed overcame most people but I enjoyed the thrill of slide tackling my opponents. So that is exactly what I did. I slid in from the side, getting the ball but also purposely taking the player with it – not to be mean, but to send a message to all other players attempting
to challenge me. There was no penalty called but the repercussions
outmatched any penalty I could have gotten. As I was about to run down the sideline, a large oafy defender saw what I did to his teammate and took offense. Instead of slide tackling, he went just for my legs, and got the ultimate prize, my arm. I can only remember trying to catch myself on the plushy turf while taking a full speed fall. Unfortunately, the turf made things worse. My wrist got stuck in the softness, and I felt it snap and like a weak stick.

Oh, but the pain didn’t end there! There was another crack that all fans and teammates could hear. Those were my ulna and radius snapping through all of my muscles, nerves and even my skin. What a horrible sight! But even with my arm going the opposite way, all I could think about was how disappointed I was in myself. I had played my whole life on club teams and was even playing for an Irish team most summers as a starting defender. Now I couldn’t even make an American varsity team? This disappointment soon turned to resentment. After days of surgeries, I was told by the lead doctor of Boston Children’s Hospital that it was the most severe break he had ever seen. He said that I shouldn’t set foot on a soccer field for at least a year. This was the moment my life changed. Imagine, it only took a sentence to change my entire life.

My life to this point was all about soccer. I was determined to play in college and then the pros. This accident not only changed my future, but changed me as a man.  At first I was lost, angry and resentful. But over time, I came to appreciate that I was more than just an athlete. When I focused on school work instead of soccer, I actually did very well. I also had more time to spend with my family and non-soccer friends. My world expanded tremendously – I got a job and earned my own money. Decisions became my own. I was slowly growing into a well-rounded individual and adult. Soccer was and will always be one of my passions, but it is no longer what defines me. I am at peace with the
accident;  no longer bitter. My future is bright and I am eager to succeed at whatever I put my mind to.