We gather in pairs outside the door; our army growing rapidly. Waiting patiently for our leader, we pass the time with small murmurs of conversation. A great silence falls over the soldiers as he, the leader, approaches our huddle. He doesn’t greet us with words, but only a small nod first to the right and then to the left. With one swift movement, he opens the door and nods his head one last time. Like a bomb just hit, we scramble into the room trying to find a seat. The moment is full of shouts and scurrying of everyone and like it never happened, the peace is restored. The door is shut tightly by his right hand man and we are concealed from the world and from the enemy. For some reason I don’t feel any safer. I feel like the door is merely a barricade to keep the enemy out. We aren’t safe, not yet.
The walls are dark like the sky before a thunderstorm, and our seats are cold as if we were sitting on ice. It has been a long time since we have gathered for a battle like this one. In silence, we sit letting the air we breathe fill with suspense, fear and anger. A light flickers on and hesitantly I lift my head to face the light. He stands with his head down, staring at the ground but still towering above us. Deliberately he positions himself right in front of the light becoming a pure silhouette. It is hard to make out his face. His eyes I cannot see, but I feel as though they are piercing through me like a razor-sharp dagger. The pain shocks me, and sends my eyes straight to the floor. My head follows in a swinging motion, and I’m left staring at shoes and the dirty floor.
Like a crash of thunder the silence is broken. His voice booms in the small room where we strategize, scheme and wait. Echoing off the walls his speech begins, a speech he has given many times before. For a man of such wisdom, his speeches force my mind to wander, and the more my mind wanders the faster the fear, anger, and great battle slip out of focus, out of my mind. A brief moment of nothing lingers near by. Watching and not thinking, just observing; I watch him pace back and forth. From wall to door and wall to door again he walks aimlessly wearing a path into the ground. His heels never leave the ground like they weigh 1000 pounds and the repetitive sweeping noise is stuck in my head like a bad song.
The minutes have passed by slowly and we’re getting restless. The suspense, anger, and will to fight, the will to put it all on the line is going to burst out of me. We have been strategizing for too long. Picking apart our enemy like a vulture devouring its prey but when it is all said and done it comes down to who has heart. Who has the desire, the will, determination, drive and hunger? Who will bare the blood sweat and tears? With thundering claps and stammering feet we burst out of confinement. Our battle cries piercing through the crisp spring night air. There is no turning back, no backing down. It is now or never; we will win this battle.