As I gaze off into the darkness of the night, way beyond the football field, butterflies swirling in my stomach, feeling as if nothing in the world matters but this moment. When I know that soon, all eyes will be on me and there will be nothing to see but bright lights shining down upon my every move. Nerves running through my stiff body while my mind races uncontrollably. As I stand stiffly on the sidelines watching the clock closely as it counts down, going from minutes to seconds getting closer to half-time.

One step after another I slowly pace myself, walking closer and closer to the light on the field. As I start to smile when I see the faint faces in the stands staring down on me. I suddenly think to myself, “This is my time to shine! It’s all or nothing and there’s no turning back now.” Keeping my head held high, I march to my position while my heart is pounding and my body is shaking. Thinking of nothing but this moment and trying my hardest to keep my mind from spacing off into the distance. Standing completely still, and breathing as deeply as I possibly can, I make sure to stay calm and not pass out. While my body is weakening as the moments pass by slowly, I know and believe that I still have enough strength to carry on.

Then all of a sudden the music starts. I gain consciousness and everything slowly comes back to me. Feeling no pain like my body’s going numb, hearing nothing but the voice inside my head repeating the numbers one through eight and feeling the beat of the music pulse through my body. “Dancing as if no ones watching,” and staring straight ahead right into the blinding white lights. My mind wonders about the people in the stands if their looking at me and the ideas that might be running through their heads. Out of breath and under pressure I still remain breathing. Motivating myself to keep moving and to smile as hard as I can even though my mouth aches with joy. As I try to take in every moment in the spot light while my body burns from the warmth of the light above. Pushing myself as hard as I can just so that I can feel accomplished when the time is over.

“Almost done,” I tell myself, feeling the adrenaline weighing on my body. Hitting my final pose for the night I smile and hear the crowd roar and scream for me and my team. Breathing as hard as I can, heart pounding out of my chest, and still no feeling in my body I walk into a straight line and march off the field. Looking around and seeing all the familiar people in the stands as they come closer into a clear view to congratulate us in our amazing performance. Hugs and kisses coming from every direction and feeling like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. As the numbness slowly wears off I feel the strongest pain in the world. Almost like my body aches so bad that I can’t move another inch. I’ve learned over the years though to ignore the pain and remain as energetic as I can. Sometimes I wonder if the other nine dancers have the same feelings as I do when I perform? Never have I asked them but have always wondered. It can be hard to explain the feelings and the adrenaline I get just from this one performance. Most people wouldn’t understand this feeling and never will have the chance to. They will never experienced anything like it before

As I stand back on the sidelines for the second time, I look back at that very moment when everything was a blur and my mind was racing. Wondering why I felt the things I did? Watching the bright lights turn off and the crowd slowing pacing their way out, I feel the sadness sink in me. Now, just hoping for the next performance to come soon just so I can say again that, “All lights are on me.”