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voyage to india MAG
June 27, 2010
it is one of those nights
when the clouds can't seem to swallow
their tears and the stars have forgotten
to dress the sky.
along the horizon
there are hills like white elephants
silhouettes of trees with naked branches trailing
ivory streaks across the canvas.
and once in a lonely while,
the spectral crescent moon
dangles
as paper marionettes twirl with upraised
arms from a taut, invisible string.
shhh,
the children are dancing.
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This article has 7 comments.
theatregirl PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 4:59 pm
simplys yet beatiful. i really like it. it was good because under or over state and it was wasn't to activisty or about a boy. it was glispe into beauty of everyday life. your great writer because, on like most writter, you realize the best poem are about everyday life. keep writing!!!!!!!
emmacloe26 SILVER said...
on Oct. 12 2012 at 6:19 pm
This is so beautiful
irishlass317 said...
on Oct. 11 2012 at 12:08 pm
This is such a beautiful poem!! I love the imagery and the metaphors are so creative. My favorite part is the last stanza!! Great job!! :)
This poem is stunning. Beautiful images, the rhythm is right on, and well, I just love it. The last line is very poignant. I really feel like you've taken me on a journey, shown me somthing new. I think it would benefit from you fixing the capitals (in the title, at the starts of lines), because little grammar slips like that detract from the beauty somehow. It's up to you--you could capitalise it instead like you would prose, i.e. only at the start of each sentence, ignoring new lines. The only other thing is the phrase ' taught, invisible strings'. Maybe it's just me who thinks so, but the word 'invisible' jarred a little bit. I think it has too many syllables. How about 'black', or 'dark'? Anyway. Lovely, lovely, lovely. :) You are very talented. Thank you for sharing your words. Even after reading it, the last stanza carries on echoing.
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Favorite Quote:
“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~ Theodore Roosevelt