The door opens as eager guests pile in and shake hands with my parents. I take their coats, hang them up, we all exchange friendly greetings in Russian, and then they wander towards the kitchen where they place their food. The gathering has only just begun. The whole process actually began a great deal earlier. Hosting a Russian get-together takes a lot of preparation, but it produces much joy.

It all begins somewhere from a week in advance to a day in advance, depending on the whims of the hosts. As the day creeps up, the host family goes shopping for the main course. Depending on the occasion, the family may buy something like bratwursts, or ingredients for a traditional Russian dish such as borscht, a traditional Russian soup featuring beets that color it red. As that day leaps upon the host family, they hastily get the house ready. The kids vacuum and dust while the parents prepare any entertainment they have planned for the evening. Phones call and vibrate, emails come and go, and texts are exchanged here and there, all in preparation for the party that follows. Invitees scramble to figure out what to bring, scratching their heads whether to bring party food, traditional Russian meals, or beverages. The kids and teenagers practice a performance that will be performed later in the evening. All this chaos happens right before the party starts.
Then it happens. The appointed time arrives. The clock strikes six. The guests will appear in ten minutes to two hours later. As the guests pour in, you collect coats, food, and greetings and put them all in their respective places. The oldest kids of the evening organize the entertainment for the younger ones, consisting now a days of a Wii game or some sort of movie. The adults, as they slowly gather, are drawn to the appetizers like flies to fruit. They find them irresistible and have a sort of magnetic attraction to the appetizers. Stories are exchanged about how hard they worked or how smart they handled certain problems in the last week. The food is served, and the adults all sit down and enjoy a feast. Kids wander in, steal food, and run away. They absorb the beverages like a sponge. At the table every family starts to brag about their kids. “Victor started driving!

“Natasha was voted MVP on her futball team.”

“Nicolai is performing in the All Conference Band.”

Old stories are told for the millionth time. New ones are told with such glittering exaggerations that the whole ensemble produces “oohs!” and “ahhs!” The traveling couple or family share all their wonderful times on their last cruise or vacation as the remainder of the adults slowly clear the table of its food. Then the room explodes with noise as the joyous kids stampede into the room hungry as wolves. Any food left is devoured and the table lies like a skeleton on an examination table, bare and exposed. The kids disappear as suddenly as they appeared and the adults return again to bragging about their kids.

After this comes the well liked entertainment: dancing, or watching a slideshow of a vacation or hearing every kid perform their repertoire. As all the attention is focused on the entertainment, the hostess starts to boil water for tea. She then prepares all the deserts and lays them out on the table, but she never escapes notice. Another woman comes to assist her and starts to joke around, drawing the attention of the other women. Before the entertainment is even finished, we have the great gender rift. Men are watching entertainment and partying, while the women all gather around and get the desserts ready. They tell each other cute little things about their feelings and interesting information about their boyfriends or husbands.

The women gather around the table as the men realize their dates, companions, and soul mates have disappeared. The men gather round as well and everyone starts to sip tea while eating desserts. Stray topics come and go like clouds, everyone simply enjoys the evening. The kids sneak in and nick desserts and the adults reminisce on the good ol’ days in Russia. Then the guitarist of the group gets out his guitar and starts to play songs. Russian rock, childhood songs, reggae, and funk all come and go, adding to the variety. People sing, hug their date, and tell of the good times while making more in the process.

The evening slowly draws to a close as one by one families and couples all leave. The coats are pulled, the greetings now swapped with good bye’s, and the now empty plates go with their owners, but not always! The preparation has not gone in vain, and the evening turned out as a success. The kids tearfully say good bye to each other as the adults plan on meeting again soon, but no one leaves for another hour because of the home like environment. When everyone does leave, the clock strikes one. Your stomach is filled with food, cleaning still needs to be done, but all in all . . . it’s good to be Russian and host Russian parties.