Time is warped in here. But where is here? I don't know. What time is it? How long have I been in this land? This I haven't a clue. Days don't begin and nights never fall. In-between of the two, at twilight. Always twilight. There is no sleep and dreams, no reawakening or anything such as that. You simply are here, then your not. Here for a moment, gone the next.

Some days you find yourself wandering in a abandoned field, full of dead flowers and trees. The fence will be broken and chipped, decaying at the touch of your hand. The grass will wither and die where you step. And then your gone. Other days you don't move, letting the thick fog wrap around you. Not seeing more then a few feet in front of you. Not that you want to. Who knows what could be lurking and seething behind each step you take.

On this uneventful twilight Im back in the field, but something's different. A small child in here, but she doesn't seem aware I'm here. Pale blonde hair moving even though wind doesn't exist here. Fair skin and a white night gown doused in blood. Not surprising though. Often or not you see others of our kind here in blood or bruises. But I can feel myself slipping away.

"Wait", she whispers, her lifeless brown eyes bore into mine.

But then I'm gone.

***

When your not in a land of sorts, you have these visions. Your just floating in a black void, and it's the only time I want to see myself. The only time I remember what I look like. You only have a few short moments to look at yourself, and then the vision swallows you whole.

But when your no where, just in the blackness, you figure things out about yourself. I only have had 'visions' of a pair of eyes. Each and every time I slip away, same pair of chocolate brown eyes, ringed with a dark ocean blue. His eyes are dilated and is almost as if you can see into this persons soul. The each time, you can hear his mouth open and intake a breath. About to say words that could possibly destroy me whole as a person. But then I return to a non existent land.

And when I return to wherever, I always try to keep the information that I do know about me engraved in my head. About what I look like and the only vision I get. What I know about myself is that I have a fist full of light blonde hair tumbling down to my waist, black skinny jeans, a sheer white button down, a blue bandeau, blue vanz and fair skin. It's not really like I can see my own face. But then I forget what I look like all over again. Perhaps on day I'll remember though. Perhaps when I'm not already slipping away to a place where nobody cares.

When I focus in on where I am, I'm astounded. I have never been here before, but it already feels like a sanctuary from everything. Where I can remember without horrible pains in my head, where I can learn without forgetting. But I can also relax, something I haven't done since I have been in this world, in this land.

Twilight is here as always, but the sun is just hiding behind the water, no, ocean. The ocean kisses the sand line each and every second, never missing a beat. And over to my left, the ocean more violently hits the rocks and the caves, causing water to shoot up and away, only to be done again and again. But when I look to my right, I see a mom and a dad and two children. But they didn't have blood nor bruises, they looked oddly familiar. Almost as if their names were on the tip of my tongue. But that's when I black out and I have a memory.

***
I'm five years old again and I'm on the beach with my sister, mom, and dad. Life was good for this five year old, I didn't know much about death or pain then, but for now I knew happiness and love. If I had to pick somebody that I was closest too, I would have to be my older sister, Lillianne, who was eight at the time being. Who would forever stay eight years old.
"C'mon Lilac, c'mon! Come with me!", my sisters innocent voice rang out.
"Go on Lilac, don't be rude.", my mother would coo. But she would give me a wink with those bright blue eyes that always shined, and I knew everything would be okay.

So I turned around and ran after my sweet sister, who's laugh round out onto the water. Pale long blonde hair swaying in the wind, and her small legs carrying her as fast as they could through the sand. I soon wallowed into the water, both up to our waist.
"Do you want to know a secret?", said my sister, her brown eyes sparkling.

She was so mischievous it gave me goosebumps! But excitedly, I shake my head, and my mouth slips into a smile. She leaned closer, so close I could smell the sea salt on her skin, I could see the water droplets on her smooth fair skin. I could feel her warm breath on my neck, the coolness of the sea mingling with the warmth.
"Happy things in life don't always last.." She giggles as she pulls away, slowing walking backwards to shore.
"Lillianne, what's that supposed to mean? Lillianne!", I shout after her. But she gives a wave of her hand, and turns on her heel. Now I'm left all alone in the cooling water, wondering what she means but such rude things. But then again, I though I was alone then. I was in for a complete shock later.

Later that evening, I would remember screams that would fill the household, and blood would be everywhere. A murder scene. My sister, had been murdered. Her fair warm skin now cold and hard, her pretty brown eyes now dull and lifeless. And her beautiful crisp white night gown drenched in blood. Mom and dad were crying, but I couldn't help think to myself,
"Lillianne was right."
***

I wake up breathlessly on the beach, sand and grit in my hair. Dizzy and confused, I stand up. What just happened? Getting memories isn't supposed to happen. And I didn't want to remember. I don't want to remember my sisters death. I don't want to remember the blood curdling scream during the night. I don't want to remember her standing in my door way that night, saying my name of the last time, then having the knife dragged across her throat. I don't want to remember her scream slowly fade, I don't want to remember her gurgling for air. I don't want to remember the moment when her body hit the ground.
"Lilac?", I hear my sister say. Slowly, I turn around, afraid to what I might find. But my sister is there, full of life and health.
"Something wrong?", she snaps at me, arms crossing over her chest.
And that's when I scream and slip away.
***
"Run Lilac run!", a boy screams from behind. But then I hear a thud behind.
"Carter! Carter are you okay? Carter answer me!", I scream.

I stop dead in my tracks and look behind. Carter wasn't there. I didn't know how to get out of here. They were doing construction work in the dock on the bay, making the whole place and factory that sits here a mess. Not to mention confusing.
"Carter!", I call out to the wooden platform on the factory. Slowly I walk back on the dock, looking for the brown haired boy.
"Carter...", I squeak out, petrified what could be ahead of each step I take.
I then hear the faintest whisper, "Lilac..."
"Carter! Where are you?", I shriek. A sob escapes my lips, and tears tumble down my cheek. Where was my best friend. I just wanted to know where so we could get out of here and pretend this all didn't happen. So I could slip into his broad shoulders so he could hug away all the terrible thoughts and memories here...

But then Carter fell in front of me. From the wooden balcony above, dead. Carter's eyes were wide and open but dull, his skin pale, and his hair lifelessly caressing his face. His mouth was formed into a small 'o', and his neck contorted in ways not physically possible. And you can't skip over the blood. Blood and gashes everywhere, all over Carter's beautiful face and lifeless body. Blood everywhere. Blood pooled around his head, and it trickled from his body. My best friend was dead. Murdered. And I was next.

Slowly, I backed away from his body, tripping over my feet. Flabbergasted, horrified, fear, and confusion are just a few words to name emotions coursing through my veins. Soon I fall to the ground, to overcome to move. Sobs, screams, tears, and cries escape my body. Feeling like razor blades crawling up through my throat to be set free. My heart beat so slow with sorrow, each beat prolonged with guilt and anger.

And then, I am grabbed by my hair and yanked on to my back. I struggle and scream, kick and fight to get away. But my efforts bring me no reward. Pined down by his body weight on my hips, my screams are cut off. Air is cut off, only leaving a thin ribbon snaking its way to my lungs. Tighter and tighter his hands go, round and round the world spins. I look into his eyes, fully dilated, almost as if you could see the person he truly was. I could hear his lips part and intake a breath. He says to me,
"Do you know who I am? Do you?"
Confused, I wildly shake my head no.
"You should.", he says. I could feel myself slipping away, and I would feel my soul leaving my body. I didn't want my last memory of the psychical world being this mans eyes, so I look else where. And the last thing I saw was the twilight sky hitting the bay. And then I died.
***

When I came back to the ocean, my mind could only process one thought. I am dead. But it couldn't possibly be. Surely this must be a dream, right? A never-ending nightmare, right? This psychically couldn't be possible. Not realistically possibly anyways...

But to check, I slowly make my way to the waters edge, but stop before I can see me face. Do I really want to see if bruises were on my neck or cuts on my body? Did I want to remind myself that Carter as dead? Did I want to know that I possibly wasn't among the living, but perhaps the dead? I didn't. But I knew that of Carter were here, he would throw my ass into the water. But he wasn't here. This was my land, my body, and my thoughts.

Peering over where the water meets the sand, I see my face for the first time. I had a soft jaw line, my cheekbones weren't prominent, big blue eyes like my mothers, and rosy lips. And then there was my neck. Bruises as dark as midnight, purple deep as a plum, and navy blue mixed into the mess. A mess that shaped two hands on either side of my neck. Slowly I brought my hand to my neck, fingering the dark bruising. My hands touched it and begin to shiver. They were as cold as ice, while my skin was relativity warm.
"This isn't possible.", I whispered to the reflection in the ocean.
"What isn't possible? Being dead?", boomed a voice from behind.

Immediately I froze. I couldn't see who was behind me. So slowly I turned my around with my eyes fixed onto the ground. I didn't want to know who was talking to me or why. I haven't spoken a work since I have been here, the person sighed waiting for an answer. So I spoke.
"Yes.", I managed through my lips.
"Well it is. We're both dead, Lilac. This is our land. Each and every person that dies has their own land to represent their thoughts and actions from the psychical world. And if two people die together, their thoughts and lands are intertwined with one another.", says the voice in a superior but comforting tone.
"How do you know my name and so much about this place? This land that you say is mine?", I whisper to the ground.
"Look up and it will make sense.", the person coos. Feet shuffle forward, and I can see white high tops covered with dirt and speckled with blood. Dark blue jeans fit snugly on their hips, and a white vee neck spotted with blood exposed their porcelain collarbones. I didn't dare look up more, I didn't want this place, this reality to sink in.
"Look up please Lilac.", said the person, but I barley heard it. The persons warm finger rises under my chin, delicately making me look up. I meet the gaze of warm chocolate brown eyes ringed with green, delicate pink lips, small but defined nose, exposed cheekbones, and a hard jaw line. While smiling, straight white teeth showing and brown hair swept across the forehead. And last, a bruise on the left side of the neck.
"Hey Carter.", I say with tears brimming in my eyes.
"Hey Albino.", he says laughing, but tears fall onto his checks anyways.

I let out half a laugh and that's when he envelopes me in a hug.