The Pain of Love & Lust | Teen Ink

The Pain of Love & Lust

August 16, 2011
By cali_writer2011 BRONZE, my city, California
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cali_writer2011 BRONZE, My City, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If life's a book, my heart's the pen."


Author's note: This story was created in my algebra class 3 years ago out of boredom. Now it's become something way more to me.

As I laid on the grass watching the stars, I wondered, how did I end up here? Of all the things I’d end up doing, why this? Why now? I had lost everything I’d ever cared about in such a short amount of time. I had run in all directions but everywhere I turned, I saw his face. No matter how hard I tried, that night always replayed in my head like a broken record. The numbness, the silence, the intensity in his voice. I don’t wanna remember, yet I can’t forget…

“Oh my god! Hurry up!” I applied my mascara and last layer of eye liner to give my light brown eyes some life. I knew I had to look my absolute best when going out with Chloe and Laraine. They were my party besties. I met them through a mutual friend when I transferred into my school. I wanted a real social life and they said they could give me that so we’ve been friends ever since.
“Okay, I’m coming!” I said.
Tonight, our party spot was the house of Bryson Willow. His parties are known to be up-to-par.
“Chloe, how’s my make-up?”, I asked.
“You look sexy! Now come on, we’re already fashionably late.” she said.
I took one last glance in my bathroom mirror and smiled. This sounds like your typical night out if your maybe 18 or 21. But you see I’m only 13. If my mom knew about half the things I’ve done after she goes to sleep, I’d be dead. Ever since my parent’s split, I’ve had this sudden streak of bad behavior. Almost every Friday night, I go out with Chloe and Laraine to a party, make out with a random guy, then come home and crash without getting caught. It’s the perfect temporary escape from my family drama. Tonight was a little different because this party was a big one, the big labor day jam. This was the party to start all parties, so I had heard. It was my first real high school party. A night I’ll always remember.

“Girl, I saw you all up on him. You better use protection!”, said Chloe. “Whatever, we were just dancing. Plus he got a little excited half way through. So I don’t think so!” I replied.
The party had just gotten good. I’d had nothing but energy drinks and a little “punch“ which I‘m sure had some liquor in it. Every guy in the room wanted a piece of me and I loved it.
“See, I told you wearing that outfit would get you noticed.” said Laraine.
She made me wear two tank tops, a pair of jeans, and cute white sandals. Sounds regular except for the fact that she made me wear a push up bra and she straighten my hair so much that it couldn’t frizz at all. It wasn’t my usual look but I liked it. Most importantly, the boys liked it.
“I know! I think I’ve even gotten more play than you.”, I joked.
“Whatever! Ain’t no 8th grader gonna get more-” said Chloe.
“Shut up! I’m a freshman tonight remember?”
“Yea, sorry.” she said. I danced for the first half of the night with the girls until I noticed someone watching. I was hyped up and had no sense so I walked over.
“So you like what you see.” I asked smiling.
“Yea, as a matter of fact I was just telling my boy how sexy you look in that outfit.” he said looking me up and down.
“Thanks! You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“So who you here with?” he asked.
“My girls, Chloe and Laraine. Who’s your friend?”
“Oh my bad, this is CJ” he said, “and your name?”
“I’m Caela and you handsome?” I asked.
“I’m Terrance.” he answered.
Terrance, the sexiest thing I’d seen all night. He was tall, slightly muscular, had soft green eyes, and the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. I was mesmerized; all I wanted to do was get him alone. We danced and all eyes were on us. No more than 10 minutes later, he had me in a bedroom, turned on from head to toe. His lips and hands were on all the right places. Even though he was only kissing me, I was in the craziest place I’d ever been.
“You really know how to treat a girl.”
“Oh baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.” he said as he proceeded to pull out a condom.
“Whoa, slow ya roll.”
“I thought you wanted to-”
“No! I’m not that kinda girl.”
“Oh my bad! Well, what do you wanna do?” he said.
“How about more of this.” I said as I kissed him softly.
He smiled at me and kissed my neck with his soft lips. We must have been at it for 20 minutes or so until, “Cae, we gotta-” in came Chloe.
“Oh my bad, am I interrupting?” she said.
I got up in a hurry. “No, what do you want?” I asked.
“We gotta go, like now!” she said.
“Aww, baby girl. Do you gotta go?” asked Terrance.
“Don’t worry babe, we’ll meet again.” I said giving him a kiss goodbye.
As we ran down the hall, I turned back to see a faint smile.

The whole ride home, all I could think about was Terrance. His green eyes, soft lips, muscles. Nothing could bring me down from this high. “Somebody got some lip action tonight!” said Laraine looking in the rearview mirror.
“Look like more than that to me.” said Chloe laughing.
For once, their mocking and teasing didn’t get to me. I was so out of it, you would’ve thought I was on drugs.
“Hello! Earth to Caela?” they yelled, “So come on! Give us some details.” “Well his name is Terrance, as you saw he’s gorgeous, and-” I started.
“How did you two end up in a bedroom?” asked Chloe.
“Yea! How old are you again?” Laraine said jokingly.
“I don’t know it just happened. We only made out though.” I said.
They both gave me a funny look.
“What! I swear that’s all.” I said smiling.
We talked like this the entire way to my house.
“So I guess we’ll see you later. If there’s any parties tomorrow, I’ll text you.” yelled Chloe.
I just nodded and waved. I climbed though my window and slipped into my bed. I must’ve laid down all of 5 minutes before completely crashing, reliving the entire night in my dreams.

Saturday morning, I was awaken by a phone call. I looked up at my clock; 9:06. Ugh.
“Hello?” I said in a groggy voice.
“Are you still sleeping? Girl, you better get up!” yells Chloe.
“You must be out of your mind! I’m exhausted.” I fussed.
“Fine, I guess you’ll just miss Terrance’s phone call.”
“WHAT? WHEN?!” I said suddenly awake.
“In like two minutes, I gave him your number.” she said.
“I love you!” I said as my phone beeped, “OMG that’s him on the other line. Bye!”
This was amazing! I fell asleep thinking about him and now I get to wake up and talk to him! I composed myself and clicked over to the other line.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Caela?” he asked.
“Yes, and may I asked who’s calling.” I asked pretending not to know.
“Terrance, from the party last night?”
“Oh, hey! How are you?” Eww I sound like a relative.
“I’m fine. I’d be better if I could see you.” he said.
I think I’m gonna faint!
“Oh well I have that effect on guys.” I said, “So what were you calling for?” “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hangout?” he asked.
“Umm, I’m not really allowed to date yet.” I said.
Great, now he’s gonna hang up.
“Why? What are you 13?” he said jokingly.
Oh no, he knows! Ok stay calm.
“Yeah, is that a problem?” I said with confidence.
“Damn! For real?” he said, “Well, you’re one sexy 13 year old.”
Breathe Cae, breathe!
“Thank you, how old are you?” I asked.
“I just turned 16 three months ago.” he replied.
This question and answer banter went on for an hour and a half. It was the best conversation I’d ever had. I felt so comfortable talking to him. It was like we had known each other for years.
“Ok so you’re coming over around one right? I should be alone by then.” I said.
“Yep, I’ll be there. I’ll text you when I’m close.”
“Okay.”
“Bye babe.” he said as he hung up.
He called me babe! I hung up and screamed into my pillow. I had 3 hours to get ready, yet it seemed too long to wait.

At about 1:10, he was parked outside my house in his black Mustang GT. He looked so sexy in his leather jacket and Nikes.
“Nice car.” I said as he walked up to me.
“Thanks, it was a gift from my dad for passing my license’s test.”
As he walked in, he hugged me. He smelled amazing.
“You can sit if you want. Do you want something to drink?” I asked.
“No, I’m fine.” he said looking at me, “Are you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously as I sat next to him on the couch. “You’re nervous. I can just look at your face and tell.” he said laughing a little.
Crap.
“Oh well I’m fine. You should just worry about yourself.” I said.
“Why?” he asked.
I moved in close to him. I looked in eyes and kissed his lips. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. Soon enough, we were in a full make out and I was on his lap. His hands were around my waist while my hands were around his neck. I was on my own cloud nine. Here I was, making out with a 16 year old cutie on my couch. He didn’t care about my age or where we were, as long as we were together. I was crushing hard. He stopped kissing me and smiled, “Well, this is a first for me.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Making out with a beautiful girl I barely know.” he said laughing.
“Well what do you want to know?” I asked laughing.
“Everything but I think I can go a little longer without all that.” he said pulling me back in to kiss him.

The meeting up, day or night, and the late night phone convos lasted for a month or so until October 21st. The day he asked me that question I’d been waiting to hear. We met up in the late afternoon at a park by my house.
“Ok so you dragged me here. What’s up?” I asked.
“Chill, I wanted to ask you something.” he said.
“What?”
He pulled me against his chest, “Well, we’ve been talking for a while now and we’ve had some good times. I can’t seem to get you off my mind and so I wanted to know if you’d officially be my girl?” he asked.
I was all smiles at that point.
I put my arms around his neck, “Of course I do!”
I kissed him as he picked me up and swung me around.
“Ok I got something for you.” he said as he reached in his pocket, “I remembered how you said you liked stars so I got you this.”
He pulled out a ring with 3 pink stars inside of a heart.
“Baby! This is so sweet, I love it!” I said gazing at it.
“I wanted to get you something so everybody knows you’re mine.” he said. It was like a fairytale. He was my prince and I was his princess. Even though, it seemed more like we were Romeo and Juliet, because our parents didn’t know we were together.

The next night, we went to a party and revealed the news to our friends.
“He got you jewelry? You sure you just his girlfriend?” asked Chloe.
“Yes, I’m sure. Ugh guys, I’m just so happy.” I said smiling.
“Aww, I think someone’s in love.” said Laraine.
“Maybe, I mean as good as things are going, love might come soon.” I said. Just then, Terrance came up behind me.
“Sorry ladies, I need my girl on the dance floor.”
He took my hand and led me to where everyone was dancing. We danced for 3 songs. When we finally stopped, he brought me over to his friends.
“Fellas, this is my girl Caela. Cae, this is Nate, Jay, and Marcus. You already know CJ.”
“Hey CJ, long time no see! How you been?” I asked.
“I’ve been good, but not as good as my boy over here.” he said, “You must be treating him well.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.” I said looking at Terrance.
Just then Laraine, Chloe, and Laraine’s sister Taylor walked up.
“So Cae, you just gonna hog all the good looking guys?” said Chloe.
“Sorry! Guys these are my girls Laraine, Chloe, and Taylor.”
After all the introductions, there was a whisper in my ear, “Meet me in the basement in 2 minutes.” I turned to see Terrance walking down the stairs. “Guys, I’ll be…right back.” I said walking away.
“She’ll be back in 45 minutes.” I heard Chloe say.
I kept walking down the stairs to the basement. When I got there, I looked around the dark lit room until I was grabbed from behind and kissed. Terrance carried me to the couch and kept kissing me as he laid me down.
“I don’t know why, but I love it when you take charge.” I said.
“Really? Well how about this.” he said as he worked his way to my neck.

After what seemed like hours, I looked over at the clock. 2:10.
“Oh s***! I gotta go.” I said getting up.
“Your joking right?” Terrance asked.
“I wish I wasn’t, can you take me home?” I asked.
“Yea.” he answered.
We walked upstairs to see our friends still talking. I walked up to say bye and realized that Chloe and Nate were gone.
“Tay, where’s Chloe?” I asked.
“She and Nate left about 15 minutes ago.” she said.
Typical Chloe, meet a guy and take him home.
“Babe come on!” said Terrance. I ran to his car and got in. In 15 minutes, we were in front of my house.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.” he said looking at me with sad eyes.
“I know babe.” I said leaning my head on his shoulder.
“Call me tomorrow?” he asked.
“Sure thing!” I answered. We kissed good-night as I got out of his car. I looked back to watch him drive away as I climbed through my window.

Because of school, it had been weeks since we’d seen each other. Calls everyday had turned to every couple days. I started to fear that he’d gotten over me until mid-December when he called to ask if I could meet him at a park close by my house. I walked over, anxious to see him. When I got there, he was sitting in his car. As I got close, he got out and walked toward me. We immediately embraced each other.
“Can we both agree never to go that long without contact again?” I asked. “Agreed. Ugh I missed you so much.” he said hugging me.
We hugged for about 2 minutes before he spoke.
“Okay since we couldn’t be together on your birthday and we can’t be together on Christmas or new years, I got some stuff for you.”
He reached in his car and pulled out a box and a teddy bear.
“Happy birthday/Christmas!” he said laughing.
I opened it to find a heart necklace.
“Babe! You shouldn’t have!” I said shocked.
“You deserve it baby.” he said.
“Well, something told me you’d do this so…Merry Christmas!” I said handing him a box. He opened it to find a silver watch.
“Whoa! Baby girl this is fly. Thank you.” he said smiling.
“Look at the engraving.” I pointed out.
“It says ‘Even though time may run out, I will be yours forever‘.” he read.
He held me close and kissed my forehead and then suddenly I heard from above my head, “I love you.”
I raised my head and looked in to his eyes.
“What?” I asked stunned.
“I’m in love with you Caela.” he said.
I couldn’t breathe. Every part of me was frozen. I finally exhaled and when I did, I began to cry.
“I love you too.” I cried.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“You’ve just made me the happiest girl in world.” I said.
He smiled and kissed me. It was at that exact moment that I fell in love for the first time. Everything was great, except for the fact that the most important people in my life didn’t know.



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This book has 1 comment.


on Apr. 10 2012 at 9:54 pm
Cheshirekat SILVER, Boise, Idaho
5 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Oh you can't avoid that; we're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat

Depending on how you continue the story this could be a good story, but you can't end the story right here. Finish the story.